I was lied to last week.
I suppose I can’t be sure by who since three people are involved. But I got three different stories.
Two of the three I am 95% positive are the ones who were being untruthful and yet, I gave them both the freedom to say the truth without any ounce of pressure or disbelief on my end whatsoever and still, they chose to lie.
I’m not angry they lied. They were both trying to cover for another person. I’ve been there. I get it.
But the irony is so thick and so heavy… I can’t escape it.
Irony? Yes, irony. These two people made me carry a cross that was so heavy, no one person could have ever carried it and survived. I didn’t survive. I died. I fell all apart. I couldn’t forgive myself. I couldn’t accept the past, present or future. I didn’t know how to function without constant fear of confrontation and rejection.
You see, I had told a couple silly insignificant lies almost 15 years ago…. and I couldn’t be forgiven. I could never be trusted again. I was deemed unlovable and unbelievable on any account. I was mocked and gossiped about and labeled “THE LIAR”
All the while, I was very aware that they were lying about so many things. I tried on some occasions to confront the situation, but it was pointless.
I actually tried the gossip train. The revenge train. The forget about them train. I rode every train…. right until I jumped on the crazy train.
And then God stepped in. In all His glory He changed me from the inside out. He gave me my life back. Freedom. Forgiveness. Mercy. Grace. Hope. Faith.
And He changed everything.
Today, I have no hard feelings whatsoever. When Satan has his hands on things, it’s suffocating, intoxicating and he puts on a death grip. I don’t blame anyone. Sin is engrossing and blinding. There is no one to blame for that but Satan himself. The accuser, liar, thief and demon.
However, the irony is just causing me to do some self reflecting—
Bitter or Better?
Here’s the truth: this isn’t a finger pointing game.
Satan’s schemes are never singled out for one person only. His deceit is playing the same games on all of us.
What blinders do I wear? What don’t I see about myself?
1.) What negative qualities or characteristics do I naturally see in others?
2.) Is there a reoccurring fault I find in multiple people or one person I have constant interaction with?
3.) Do I grow angry or disgusted when a certain behavior is discussed?
4.) Do I feel proud or judgmental toward people who do these behaviors I don’t like?
5.) Do I minimize any time I’ve ever done these behaviors?
Ding, Ding, Ding…. we have a winner Johnny.
That glaring quality I detest (for another post someday), just might be present in my own life.
Hence the verse, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)
It’s so easy to see the faults in others. And so hard to see our own. Until we realize one day that the faults we see in others usually are our faults, and that’s why we hate them so much. We just need to own them; instead of minimizing them in our lives and magnifying them in others.
How do your answers pan out to the five questions above?
What do you see in the mirror?