I love you, so I’ll be mean to you?

11 Sep

We recently added entertainment and fun to our family with the addition of two kitties.  The first one was tucked under our pole building and Daddy found it while running the weed whip.  The kitty is lucky he wasn’t injured AND seemed to be younger than 6 weeks, so very lucky he was able to get the hang of water and kitty food.  The boys named him (we’re going with him.  I googled how to tell, it is harder than you’d think when they are little.  Don’t hold it against me if we end up having two females!) Hunter, because the sole reason to keep him is that we are surrounded by fields and they are FULL of mice that really like warm houses in the winter.

We then thought Hunter could use a friend, and one of my friends had kittens to give away.  So we brought home another kitty. My friend has three little girls and they were calling the kitty “Peaches.”  Within an hour of “Peaches” being at our home, his name was changed to “Under-taker.”  There are just some differences between boys and girls you can’t get around!

Anyway, I’m not going to bore you with a post about adorable kitties, although they are hilarious to watch wrestle!  Marisa absolutely LOVES the kitties.  She gets so excited to hold them, watch them, and chase them.  She is fascinated with them! However, she is terribly mean to them.  I don’t think she has a clue that she is hurting them by squeezing them, carrying them by the tail, or throwing them when she is done holding them, but it happens, constantly.

In the last four weeks no other scene has unfolded more often and the phrase been shouted then to hear a squealing kitty and every member of our family yelling “Marisa, put the kitty down!!!!”

I was thinking about this and wondering how she doesn’t notice that the kitty is not enjoying what she is doing when it begins to yelp for help.  How she cares for the kitties so deeply yet can be so cruel to them.  And the reality that she has been told a number of times how to treat the kitties and what not to do, yet we have to tell her numerous times a day to stop her behavior.

And then the parallel came rolling in faster than I could stop it.

Why don’t we not notice when we are hurting the people we love?  How can we care for someone so deeply and yet be so cruel to them?  When (if ever) will the reality wash over us that we’ve been corrected and seen the negative results of  what we say and how we act, yet continue to do such destructive and hurtful things in our relationships?

Usually our spouse and children take the blunt of our negative behavior and yet we love them the most!  But we are not immune to mistreating other people we are in relationships with too.

Practical Application:

Make a list of the people I care most deeply for.

Think about the attitudes, words and actions I’ve shown them in the last week.

Confess any obvious sins and pray for conviction over any less obvious sins.

Make a list for each person of ways I can practically and purposefully show them love for the next 7 days, and start implementing new habits.

The best way to break a bad habit is to start a new, better habit.

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4 Responses to “I love you, so I’ll be mean to you?”

  1. RaZella September 11, 2012 at 1:40 pm #

    “Within an hour of “Peaches” being at our home, his name was changed to “Under-taker.” There are just some differences between boys and girls you can’t get around!” ~That made me chuckle because it is so true!

    I also love the Practical Application of this post. I’m committed to sitting down and actually doing this to see what it reveals and make some better new habits!

    • kaylagulick September 11, 2012 at 2:16 pm #

      When I did the practical application… I realized I am the most mean to my children. I think I get overwhelmed that they need so much from me, that when I get tired of giving, I just start lashing out at them… and it isn’t their fault at all. It is my selfishness with my time and energy and not wanting to serve. Let me know what you come up with!

      • RaZella September 13, 2012 at 11:11 am #

        Wow, this was hard to do. Hard because I felt some convictions on my heart. I realized that I don’t think about how to purposefully show love to those closest to me, like my husband and my son. Instead, I get frustrated with things, or bury myself in my housework, projects, crafts, etc. Thanks so much for the exercise! I am going to stick with it!

      • kaylagulick September 13, 2012 at 11:14 am #

        Awesome! It is hard to intentionally love, especially when we feel like we are in “need” ourselves. But I hope you’ll find as I have that when I love first, I get loved in the way I really needed to begin with. GOOD LUCK!!

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