I assumed this about you and now it’s true.

23 May

This reality has made me a prisoner to myself for YEARS!  More people struggle with this than even realize it.  I actually had no idea what a problem it was until about 3 years ago, and once I discovered the damage, I entered a battle I was not going to win quickly.  I’ve let myself be aware of this without following through with the discipline to change it for long enough.  Change starts now.  But why? and how?

I have a problem with assumption.  My assumption is often based on two things.

1.) The past behavior, action, result of said circumstance/person. (Which rarely allows for grace or mercy of change.)

2.) The way I perceive the circumstance/person. (Which isn’t always reality, but merely my own line of vision.)

Here is a small sample of what my problem looks like played out in life.

Circumstance:  I have a decision to make…

Reaction:  ….you know so&so will say_____ …..if we do this, xyz is going to be the result ……everyone is going to believe ______.

Circumstance: an encounter with someone…..

Reaction:  …..and you know they were thinking _____.  …..it is just like them to _______.  Obviously they are going to tell the story in this fashion.  ….there is no doubt in my mind they______.

The problem is not that the thought crosses my mind.  It’s OK to be wise and use common sense and past experiences to make good choices and decisions in the future and to set the right boundaries in your life.

The problem is when I PUT WORDS to my thoughts.  A terrible chain reaction happens as soon as the words leave my mouth.

-I’m making assumptions.

-I’m negative & upset.

-My words become my truth, not just a possibility.

– I begin to act, think & feel on my truths.

Everyone knows someone they consider to be a compulsive liar.  No one believes that about the person because they *think* things. They get the label because they speak all their thoughts & assumptions and the more they talk, the more they talk- and the more the story becomes fact (to them) and less just a thought.  The more times they tell a story, the more it becomes true and the less reality is able to hang around that it was only an assumption or story they thought might have happened or been funny.

I don’t go sharing all my negative thoughts & assumptions with the whole world- but my assumptions don’t need to be a false truth to anyone else because they become truth to me… and that is all that matters.

Many of relationships have been destroyed in history by assumption. Sadly, many in my own life. I’ve been on the giving and receiving end of assumption and it’s just a bad, ugly, horribly evil tactic of Satan for us to become liars just like he is in his very nature.

Practical application:

Oh how I wish this was an easy fix.  This one will take a strong desire, mercy from the Father, and discipline to fix.  But, I tried something over the weekend and it worked… so here it is…

Don’t talk when your mind is busy assuming.

A situation arose this weekend and I wanted to spew every thought running through my mind at my husband but I held my tongue.  I had to bite it (in fact I thought it was bleeding) just to keep my mouth shut, but I did it. Later in the night because I chose not to speak of it in the heat of the moment, I forgot about it and didn’t bring it back up.  Had I talked about it earlier we would have been talking about it for DAYS still.  In fact, I even forgot to tell either of my two friends whom I would normally tell about this type of incident.  That’s new, trust me.  I didn’t immediately text them, I didn’t even tell them what I was thinking and  when I finally did remember to talk about what happened.  I just said the actual facts about the incident and  moved on.

I’m sure I’ll be back soon to confess my failures because this is definitely my biggest struggle.  But for now, I’m biting my tongue when my mind is busy.

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