Plank-eyed Saint

25 May

This post is a little off-handed from the typical post I’ve been writing but only for a little deeper understanding of where I am right now in my life.

I’ve absolutely had it with living 85% of my life completely sold out for what I believe and then 15% is always allowed to be a wreck.  An often times hidden chaotic mess of “I know what I should be doing…. but I just can’t get there.”

I like music. No, I love music.  Radios are on most of the day.  I don’t do “silence” well.  I find that I can get totally lost in singing, relating to the lyrics & even worshipping in no time at all.  It’d be a bigger blessing in life if the Lord had gifted me with a little more talent in this area since my passion for it is so high, but I’ll take the private car singing at the top of my lungs and be glad.

Casting Crowns song – Jesus Friend of Sinners could probably be a theme song if you will for this season of my life right now.  The lyrics are so pointed, piercing and accurate.  My favorite is the way the song starts out:

Jesus Friend of sinners we have strayed so far away

We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing

Jesus friend of sinners the truth’s become so hard to see  (It’s hard to see our faults when all we see & talk about are others.)

 The world is on their way to You but they’re tripping over me (My contradiction are also part of my testimony.)

Always looking around but never looking up I’m so double minded

A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided (Best line of all- A plank-eyed saint- I can easily expect others to remove their specks all while leaving my own planks in tact AND preaching the gospel with Saints.)

A good portion of my contradictions happen in my own heart and home.  But the effects of living a double standard over-flow easily in our lives.

I’m not a failure.  But I am also not the wife, mother, friend, witness I need to be yet either.  I know it’ll be a life long journey, but more surrender of my rights, will, desires and needs has to happen now… or I’ll keep filtering this life through the attitude of how it affects me instead of how I can be a walking billboard of the gospel.

Have a listen to the whole song today HERE.


One Response to “Plank-eyed Saint”

  1. Beth Nofzinger May 25, 2012 at 9:03 am #

    Love this song!! I first heard it at their concert. It puts me in deep thought every time I hear it.

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