Raising kids- can I skip the rest of this season please?

30 May

I’ve been working on putting together my thoughts on my job as a mother (and boy are there a lot of thoughts!) and then my friend posted something yesterday that fits in with my thought process well.  You can check it out here.

I absolutely LOVE being a mom.  If I would make a list of things I definitely have to accomplish in life mine would start with 1.) Get Married 2.) Have kids.  From there the list has changed, grown, shrunk all depending on where life has taken me.

Parenting advice is so necessary and sadly ridiculous at the same time.  Every Mom needs a little advice, especially from someone who has been there.  And yet, there are so many people out there who think kids are cookie-cutter molds and you just have to do xyz and waha la – you’ll have a perfect kid by noon.

If you have more than one child, you experience a quick lesson in personalities.  What works for one kid, doesn’t always work for another.  In fact, I still can’t find anything that works for my third son.  Right now, he seems more like the chief Indian in my life than the child.  I am constantly guessing and scrambling to figure out what in the world will stop his temper-tantrum in the middle of walmart. Like say, this morning.

Spanking – nope.  Time-out – nope. Reasoning – nope.  Bribe-ing – nope.  Distracting – nope. Reward system – nope. Let him cry it out until he decides he has come up with something that he feels is a good enough solution to his problem- I don’t know that it is a good solution, but it is usually what happens.

Anyway, I say all that to say… at the end of the day, I am longing for a break.  I count down to bedtime, EVERY. SINGLE.  NIGHT.

Because it if it isn’t my third son challenging me, it’s the oldest, or the second, or the baby. 

Filling & refilling sippy cups, diaper changes, fighting over toys, push me on the swing, help me change my clothes for the fiftieth time today, I want this, I need that, I have to go potty, dirty laundry, I’m hungry, hundreds of dishes, he hit me, she won’t share, I’m bored, can I help you do that, runny noses, dirty faces, tripping over clutter, toys scattered all over the yard, I need a snack, I peed the bed, I don’t want to…. MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY,   ALL DAY LONG, EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE. 

If you talk to anyone who is past this stage of life, they ALL say the same thing “Oh, enjoy it honey, in the blink of an eye it will all be over.”

I LOVE my kids.  There are so many parenting rewards and joys that almost can’t even be explained in words.  There is nothing quite like the feeling of your heart warming with pride and love as you watch your kids grow, learn, explore, and just sit there looking absolutely adorable.

But even though all that is true,  I am never going to enjoy wiping butts, temper-tantrums, and constantly being the maid.   I want FREEDOM!  I want to say “I’m going to sweep the floors” and get out the sweeper and do it.  Not say “I’m going to sweep the floors” and then spend an hour finding the floor only to sweep and then twenty minutes later watch my toddler mash all her crackers from snack into the carpet.

I want to answer a phone call without stopping to yell thirty times, quit hitting each other.

I want to make cookies without losing half the flour on the floor & picking out eggshells from having “helpers”.

I want to pick up toys once a day, never pick up a toy again!!

I want to brush my teeth, put on my make-up, go pee, take a shower ALL BY MYSELF!

I think you get the idea….

know that it is a dying to self process.  But all my best preaching to myself tactics are failing to work out.

I am not the kind of Mom who cries when she packs up small clothes to give away to others.  I don’t miss rocking my kids to sleep.  When I see a pregnant woman I smile – not because it’s sweet, because it’s NOT me! I cheer at milestones.  If I’m crying, it is not because I’m sad, it is because I’m THAT happy to be moving forward.

Maybe that classifies me as a bad mom.  I don’t see it that way.  I’d never want to miss doing what I’m doing.  I’m just looking foward to the future.

PRACTICAL APPLICATION….

?

Yep, that’s all I got.  Reminding myself it will be gone in the blink of an eye is not working.  I’ve blinked millions of times in the last 7 years, and yet I’m still changing diapers.

Focusing on the joys of being a mother is not working when I’m embarrassed out of my mind in the middle of a store with a child screaming at the top of his lungs “I want my raggy.”

Reminding myself of the crucial role of parenting is not working as I’m riddled with guilt, sitting on the couch crying at the end of the day because I failed to do things perfect that day.

I got nothing… anyone have something practical? 

 

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