It’s just who I am = I’m unwilling to change and it doesn’t matter if it hurts others.

14 Jun

Out of curiosities sake, how many times a week do you hear or say “It’s just who I am”, “It’s just what I do”, “It’s the way I’m made up”, It’s the way I’m hard-wired”, “I can’t help it”, “That doesn’t sound like me”, “I’m not equipped to do that.”

There is truth in the fact that we all have different natural strengths and weaknesses.  Some people are naturally better with their hands, some are very gifted in music, and some people are perfect for public speaking.

But rarely do we use the phrases I mentioned above because of natural talents.  We use them as EXCUSES. And honestly, the excuses are really a mere expression that we’re too much of a coward to step outside of what has become natural and normal to us. Think about it.

Habits, behaviors, actions and reactions are not “who we are.”  They are “the way we’re used to acting.”  They are the pattern of responses we’re use to performing in corresponding situations to the ones we keep giving the excuses for.

Who we are is answered in one of two ways.  We are either a child of the promise, a co-heir of Christ in God’s Kingdom or we’re a slave of Satan.  What we will be permitted to receive in this life and the next is changed by which of these truths actually defines us.  But even as a child of the promise, we have free will to choose the excuses we use or the challenges we take on.

Habits and behaviors are learned.  This is seen in either the blessing or curse of family generations.  Teaching sons how to open doors, have strong work ethic, be financially responsible, buy gifts for their wife, help around the house, lead the family in Bible reading & prayer.  Teaching girls how to nurture and care for children, use measuring cups, wait their turn to speak without interrupting, shop for grocery deals and meal planning. Teaching both to cook, do laundry, have patience, take turns, try new things, watch for needs and then act in service, forgive, talk things out, hug & kiss, try all ideas, understand that ALL people have feelings and emotions, encourage others.

As well as the curse of being lazy, not cleaning up messes, being poor money managers and living off credit cards, holding grudges, speaking disrespectfully to others, interrupting, throwing fits, silent treatments, refusing to help with opposite gender tasks, gossiping, unwilling to meet others needs if it requires us to step out of our comfort zones, hurting others by not doing what is right because excuses are acceptable.

Maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of being hurt by sharing with someone “it hurt our feelings when you ______” ; only to hear “I can’t help it, that’s just who I am.”

Or telling someone, “I’d really like your help with _______ “, to be told “That doesn’t sound like something I’d do, sorry.”

Or maybe this speaks to your heart that you’re the one always saying, “I really don’t care how they feel about it, it’s the way I’m hard-wired.”

Actions & reactions are choices in behavior.  Not definitions of who we are.

Practical Application:

Join me in the challenge the next time you’re tempted to say “I can’t help it, it’s just who I am.”  Or “No way, that doesn’t sound like me” to think outside of our own selfishness and be more concerned with how our choice of behavior will positively or negatively affect someone else.

Refuse to allow habits and patterns to limit growth in our lives by hiding behind the way we’re use to responding and behaving.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: