Fifty Shades.

28 Sep

I first heard about the books “Fifty Shades of Grey” back at the end of June.  I was concerned immediately when I heard about them, but given that I hadn’t actually read them, it seemed pretty unfair to make a snap comment or rash judgement.  Shortly after, I saw a Christian review and was relieved that my initial response did carry justification for what I originally thought.  I have prayed about these books, researched on-line, read many reviews, but still have not actually held one of the books in my hand, or read a single word.  And I won’t.  I’m going to share with you why I’m convicted to stay away.

I wasn’t sure I was going to ever blog about this topic.  Mostly because I know what I’m going to share will NOT make me popular in the world.  In fact, I’m discovering more and more rapidly, it isn’t even going to make me popular in many Christian circles.  However, I’m called to be “not of this world” so I guess I might as well grow my enemy list and accept another “she’s a Christian freak” medal to wear around my neck.

~ A small disclaimer *I am not writing this post to be preachy, judgmental or dogmatic.* However, the less we call out Satan, the more he roars around like a lion devouring people… in this case… book by book.

I couldn’t name the book “Fifty Shades of Grey” better myself if I was given the rights to name the book.  Well, I can certainly think of some other names that describe it more vividly, although, the name really fits.

There is Black and there is White.  There is Sin and there is Holiness.  There is Evil and there is Righteous. There is Moral and there is Immoral.

Anything in the middle is a trick.  Depending on the eye of the beholder, “gray” allows the eye (heart) to decide which color they more dominantly want to see, white or black.

I can’t stand when people say “that part of scripture is gray.”  Or, “we can’t really come to a clear conclusion on that because it is a gray issue.”  GOD IS NOT GRAY! God is WHITE!  He will always be white.  His word will always be WHITE!  Our minds will never be BIG enough to comprehend how WHITE God is this side of eternity, but that doesn’t make scripture gray.  That makes us black humans trying to understand a white God and when we find an area we don’t fully understand or worse yet, don’t actually want to abide by, we call it GRAY.  PRAISE GOD He created a way for us to also be white as snow, through the blood of Jesus Christ, so we don’t have to spend eternity in our black condition.

Let me tell you a real quick story.  My husband was out one night with a buddy, who is unsaved, and he says “my wife is reading porn.” When seeing his reaction to his own statement, it was clearly understood that he liked it because it meant more time in the bedroom for him.  Because he isn’t stimulated by words, he doesn’t seem to mind that his wife is being stimulated by them.  There are no pictures, so the danger level decreases rapidly in his mind because he protects his wife by  knowing and watching out for what he knows protects him.

Here is the reality of the book Fifty Shades of Grey.

It is P O R N O G R A P H Y.  I’m not sorry I just said that.  And no, I’m not over-reacting.

God is very black and white about sexual sin.  (Matthew 5:19, Acts 15:20, Romans 13:13 I Corinthians 5:1, 6:12-13, I Thessalonians 4:3)

Pornography is typically classified as images of naked (or mostly naked) women (more recently elevating in pictures of men too) posing in inappropriate, yet inviting positions to entice the male (more recently female) eye.   Men are stimulated by visual images.  So this leads to lust.  Which leads to adultery.  Which is a big fat SEXUAL SIN!  BLACK.

Most women are stimulated mentally.  If their mind is into the moment, their body follows suit.  Female Pornography is best described by picking up a book that mentally stimulates feelings and actions by discussing sexual acts. Women are stimulated by mental arousal. Which leads to lust. Which leads to adultery. Which is a big fat SEXUAL SIN! BLACK.

But wait.  Women are not acting alone.  Just because they read these books, they aren’t spending more “alone time”, they are actually just being liberated and then taking all their new sexual excitement to their husbands.  In fact, it is bringing marriages together.

So a man looks at porn in his car, walks into the house, grabs his wife, and enjoys sexual fulfillment with her.  The first idea of stimulation did NOT come from his wife.

The same is true when a woman reads a book, but then does all her physical acts with her husband.  The stimulation started by a character (or characters) in a book (actually written by a specific author) and then is fulfilled in a manner that seems “safe” or “right.”

To the comments (via the controversy on the world wide web) that say “marriages are being re-kindled.”  So what happens when she is done reading the book?  She isn’t going to keep initiating and jumping all over her husband unless she enters a porn addiction and keeps finding more books to read because her mind is no longer being stimulated.  And lets watch what happens in about 2-5 years.  I feel like I can say with confidence that the divorce rate will just keep climbing as always, if not more rapidly because the men are not changing.  The women become disappointed that the husband doesn’t start “doing all the things they want or read about” and the men are stressed and deflated that the wife seems to be on sexual highs and lows that have NOTHING to do with them!

Pornography- BLACK.

Sex with spouse- WHITE.

Pornography induced sex with spouse – GRAY! Not OK!

I physically hurt when I think of this generation of children being called “The Fifty Shades of Grey Boom”.  What a win for Satan if we actually label a generation with a big fat COMPROMISE for morality.

I recently heard that Ryan Gosling will possibly be staring in THE MOVIE “Fifty Shades of Grey.”  What could this movie possibly be except visual porn?  And we’d put it in the box office? God have mercy on us.

Practical Application:

First, if you’re a man reading this post and your wife has read, is reading, wants to get these books… Sit down and talk to her IMMEDIATELY!  Most women are truly naive at realizing what exactly they are participating in.  Remember Satan likes to trick us into thinking we might actually be doing something good or right whenever he convinces us to indulge in sin, so tread carefully without accusations, but talk about this RIGHT AWAY!!!

If you’re a wife who has read or is reading the books, stop. Repent first to God, and then repent to your husband. Confess to him that the blinders have been removed to what you’ve allowed in your life, and ask his forgiveness.  And then stay away from similar books, and especially the movie.

If you haven’t read the books, guard yourself against temptation.  Especially since I’m bringing to light a dark side, most likely Satan will really play on your curiosity to see what all the fuss is about. Don’t do it. Guard your heart. And protect your marriage.  The union is sacred and holy.

Remember above all that Satan works best in our lives when he makes sin look “good” for us.


8 Responses to “Fifty Shades.”

  1. howsyourlovelife September 28, 2012 at 10:38 am #

    This is really good, especially the distinction of black/white/gray. I have a house full of teens who watch my every move, so this gives me an extra filter about what I read and watch: any book I download will be available to my teen daughters, do I want them to read this? Any movie I bring into the house is available to my children, would it be appropriate for them? If it’s not for them, it’s not for me either.
    I have also had to be very intentional with Christian fiction, usually the characters are falling in love and spending every waking moment together. I have a husband who travels 50-75% of the time and for me, reading about new love and constant companionship can breed discontent. We must be very intentional about what we are allowing into our hearts. Thank you for taking the ‘unpopular’ stance!

    • kaylagulick September 28, 2012 at 11:15 am #

      GREAT POINT about “new love and constant companionship.”

      Just in general, movies and novels play on what we all “wish” we had. Perfect marriages to perfect humans. We’re all sinners and we all have less than ideal circumstances. So, naturally, we all wish it was a little better than it is… which is what makes “entertainment” so entertaining!

      I love your commitment to saying “if it isn’t good for them, it isn’t good for me.” And loving your husband enough to stay away from things that aren’t necessarily “sinful” but could be a powerful temptation toward sin for you.

      Wow! I’m so glad you shared!

  2. Donna Fowler September 28, 2012 at 9:44 pm #

    This is a wonderful blog. I actually find no interest what-so-ever to engage in books or shows of this nature. I thought it was interesting that your metaphoric parallel with color correlates as well with life in general.

    I also agree on “shame on us” as a public we shouldn’t be allowing any of this around for any of us to see, but especially the younger generation that we should be safe-guarding from all of this trash.

    My hat is off to you for speaking up. Good for you and the hand that guided your thoughts.

    • kaylagulick September 28, 2012 at 10:18 pm #

      Thank you Donna!

      I so appreciate the comments from others and the encouragement brings joy to my soul!

      I pray this post has stirred some hearts for the holiness of marriage and how sneaky Satan can be to get us to think we might actually be doing something “good” for us.

      Exposing Satan when we see him is our best defense as Christians to walk out this life together!

  3. The Water Bearer October 3, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

    Terrific post! I was heart broken when My teenage daughter came home from school saying that other teenagers at her school were reading this book…Teenage girls! And most of their mothers knew about it!! I wrote my post
    After my daughter and I had a big talk about it all..
    I hope you enjoy the post and find comfort in knowing you are not fighting against alone!
    Blessings to you!

  4. Kayla Gulick July 26, 2014 at 8:25 am #

    Reblogged this on Lessons Of Mercy and commented:

    Well….. I originally wrote this post in September of 2012….and now that the trailer is actually released, looks like it’s time for a repost. I’m so sad over this reality. And my heart hurts for the number of my friends sharing the trailer on Facebook.

  5. amber fountain July 27, 2014 at 2:19 am #

    This has really touched a place in my heart. Having it put so plainly that romance novels or books of a sexual nature is pornography has certainly opened my eyes. My husband used to have a problem with pornography but because of how much it was hurting me and our marriage he stopped a long time ago. But how you’ve written this is eye opening. I never thought of the romance novels I was reading as pornography. But I now see how this could effect the way I see my husband and our marriage bed. Thank you so much for this post.r

    • Kayla Gulick July 27, 2014 at 7:13 am #

      Thanks Amber. And you’re so very welcome. I’m so glad you read this with such an open heart and I am sure your marriage will grow and become even stronger having given this some real thought.

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