No one should be able to love me like that.

5 Oct

This won’t be a long post. Maybe the shortest I’ve ever written.

Thank goodness for that because the more I talk about this, the more I cry like someone turned on a faucet in my eyeballs and it can’t be slowed down or shut off.

There is one quality about my husband that stands out more than any other quality he possesses. I love so many things about that man, but this one thing, it baffles me.

When I hurt my husband, and boy oh boy friends, have I pulled out some doozies from the sin basket, he responds the exact same way EVERY time.

He totally forgives me. INSTANTLY.  Without repercussions. Without condemnation.  Without punishment.

The slate is wiped completely clean, he says it’s over… and it actually is over.

I want to forgive like that.  I may be closer than I was before, but goodness sakes, I’ve NEVER treated him with that same mercy so freely and quickly.

The other night I was such a broken, pathetic mess that I hardly had the will or energy to talk about all the details and depressing realities of some past mistakes and sins.  He just wrapped me up, touched my head and face with such tenderness, and loved me at my total worst.

I didn’t know what to do with that.  I so love that he is an incredible picture of Christ. Truly, I’ve never known anyone to love me like that.  And at the exact same time I was thankful for his compassion, I also wanted to start yelling at him.  “What are you doing? You should hate me right now.  Stop being nice to me.  Give me a tongue lashing about how disgusting and unloveable I am, how what I’ve done is not forgivable at all and how you can’t believe anyone could be as awful as I am.”

After all, it is what I deserved.

I don’t know if that ever crossed his mind to say, but I’d have never been able to tell if it did.

I want to learn to love him like he loves me.

I don’t have this practical application all hammered out.  I just needed to write this down… for later, when I come back to this. And to share with my kids when the time comes.  Their Daddy is the best husband, regardless of any mistakes he makes, he has learned to love me like Christ loves the Church, and that really does cover over a multitude of (my) sins.

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One Response to “No one should be able to love me like that.”

  1. itsnotreallyrandom October 5, 2012 at 12:40 pm #

    Beautiful!

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