Need to buy me a perfect gift? Money, always money.

7 Oct

So the title of this post is funny.  Or is it?  Well, it would be more funny if it wasn’t so darn true.

Oh yes, it’s confession time… again.  I touched on this briefly when I posted about my husband bringing home my new Dyson (which by the way, I do love it, and no, I never did look up prices, styles or any other sweeper details and it’s been wonderful!)

I don’t know that I’ve ever been one to receive gifts well.  Not because I don’t want gifts, I DO! However, I want gifts that I want.

My mom must have figured this out at a young age because she took me Christmas shopping, and then wrapped up what I picked out and gave it to me Christmas morning, and I LOVED IT! I hate surprises and there is no fake liking something you pick out yourself.

For 11 years my husband has felt like he is a terrible gift giver, when really, I’m a terrible gift receiver.

One time (oh my gosh I can’t believe I am going to admit this on here) I had an OSU sweatshirt that was dear to my heart. (I’m sure it looked like a rag to most.)  Sparing you all the details, I let someone borrow it when it was freezing cold because I had it as an extra.  They got it filthy, so decided to throw it away.  They brought me another “old” sweatshirt but it was a terrible replacement (mine was a hoodie, this one wasn’t, mine had a big OSU across the front, this one had some weird picture, and worst of all – I cherished the sweatshirt because it was a gift from someone I loved and this new one wasn’t the same.)

Anyway, that Christmas my husband bought me a new OSU hoodie very similar to the one I use to have, and it was a big deal for him to do it because he wanted me to be an MSU fan like him.

I threw a fit.  My old sweatshirt couldn’t be replaced and I felt like if he was going to bug me about being a stupid MSU fan, he should have bought me an MSU sweatshirt instead. So I returned it and got a pair of jeans.  And later bought an MSU sweatshirt.

Along with that Christmas, I returned a few other things that I didn’t need and bought things that were more useful to me.

More stories?  As if that wasn’t enough for you.

The George Foreman that I totally wanted – but he bought at full price when other stores that Christmas were selling them for way less money.  He should have just let me get the good deal. I know what I’m doing.

The board game that I chewed him out for buying because he hates games.  Why would he buy me (a game-lover) a game if he was never going to play it with me?

A DVD?  I hate movies.  What in the world would you buy me a movie for?  Is this gift even for me, or for you?

Oh oh, and my most classic reaction which has happened more than any other; complete devastation that he didn’t get what I specifically said I wanted him to buy.  “I want tall black boots.”  Seriously, you didn’t buy the boots?

Shame.  How humiliating and extremely frustrating for my husband.  Do you know that my selfish, prideful, pathetic behavior did not make my husband think I was the one being ridiculous?  Not at all.  Instead, it made him feel like he’s a total failure and can’t ever buy a good gift.

I’m so thankful that the Lord has opened my eyes to my pride, disrespect, and selfish ways.

Why do I share this stuff?  Because you might be reading this and realize, you’ve been there too… or are there now.  Even if you just think the things I mentioned and never say them aloud.

Or maybe you are a man who has accepted defeat in gift-giving because you think you’re terrible at it.

Practical Application:

Acknowledge that if you have/had a pride issue in some area of your life… chances are, it has over-flowed into most areas of your life.

As always, confess sin aloud, and repent from it.

This doesn’t always come easy… especially if you’ve been a “poor-gift-receiver” for years, it takes intention, prayer and accountability to rid the bad habit from your life.


7 Responses to “Need to buy me a perfect gift? Money, always money.”

  1. The Water Bearer October 7, 2012 at 6:37 pm #

    Hahaha Or Maybe not so funny, I’m laughing cause I bought myself two gifts already for this coming Christmas and gave them to the kids and told them to wrap them up for me! 😉 My poor Hubby never knows what to get me…

    • kaylagulick October 7, 2012 at 7:35 pm #

      I don’t know whether to say “Whew, I’m not the only one!” or “I’m so sorry you struggle with this too.”

      Honestly though, thanks for not leaving me hanging on this one. Sometimes I cringe and actually feel like people will read this blog and feel so terribly sorry for my husband! (And maybe they should!)

      • The Water Bearer October 7, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

        We are all horrible to people we love the most, I hate that about this world!

  2. howsyourlovelife October 8, 2012 at 11:14 am #

    I have a friend who received a diamond bracelet from her husband on their anniversary. She scolded him, saying he paid way too much for the gift. So he promptly removed it from her arm and tucked it away, saying she couldn’t have it until he felt like she was ready to receive it! Man, did she learn quickly! But he waited a good 9 months before giving it to her! I really respect that husband for being strong enough to see who was at fault, and help her to learn from it.I have definitely reacted badly to gifts that were not what I was anticipating, but this friends’ lesson helped me many years ago.

    • kaylagulick October 8, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

      Oh wow! What a brave husband. He did the right thing!

      Thanks for sharing! That’s a great example for others reading along too.

      • Ashley October 10, 2012 at 9:11 am #

        My mom worked really hard to instill the, “it’s the thought that counts” mantra in us. Even if we were hoping for something else or receiving something not quite the same as we hoped for, we were taught to be grateful. We always knew that it was the idea that someone took the time and was thoughtful enough to buy us a gift, not the actual gift itself. Relinquish control, woman! Your hubby is trying, and that’s what is meaningful!!

      • kaylagulick October 10, 2012 at 11:20 am #

        Right, right. Thanks for sharing!! You had a good Mama : )

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