Now that you’ve said that, I’m doubting myself.

18 Feb

I’m not a flashy, showy person.  We’re very simplistic.  Partly because we aren’t financially loaded, so that helps keep us level-headed.  But also because we just have different goals in mind than most people do.

We don’t like debt. And we’d prefer to be debt free as soon in life as possible. (If we had it to do over, we wouldn’t have even started life with any debt.)  We have one credit card that never has a balance and we use it about once a year and pay it right off the next month.  We own both our vehicles (which are 11 and 14 years old).  We very, very, very rarely have ever made a purchase without having the cash to buy it, because it’s almost always proven true that it really isn’t something we “need”.  Basically, at this point in our lives, the only debt we have is our house.

I feel like I can finally share a small part of the “plan” I’ve been talking about because it’ll kinda be a bit public after today – get ready, you’re about to be on the inside track : )

Our home is going on the market today.  And friends, it’s going to be a VERY HARD sell!! We tried to sell it off and on for 6 years with NO LUCK!  It’s been off the market for over 2 years now again, but it’s going back up today.

We have our eyes on another house.  It’s bigger than what we have, which will provide the extra bedroom we desperately need.  (Right now we have 4 kids in one bedroom, 3 boys and 1 girl) but yet, it’s still VERY modest.  Most people would say it’s still too small.  It’s a great location, lots of land, and has a pond : )

Yesterday we took two important people in our lives through it to see it.  The reviews were not real great.  They saw in great detail all the cosmetic defects.  They looked at projects that need done a couple of years from now and elaborated on them as major negatives.  The positives they did compliment on seemed few and far between.

I was left not knowing how to feel.

I want to give weight to the comments that are legitimate concerns and yet, I feel like I’m struggling to weed through in my mind what is really a concern, and what’s just a concern to people who want/think they need to have the best of the best to be truly happy.

All the sudden, I feel like all *I* can see are all the negatives this morning.

I haven’t even mentioned that there is a REALLY good chance we could get this house for a steal and be debt free in 15 years or less!  Which would make those things that needed attention 5-10 years from now, a lot easier to handle.

I don’t know…  can you do me a favor?  Will you fill in my practical application for me?

Have you ever been here – where you’re happy with a decision until someone starts to pick it apart?  Do you have a checklist to know what to weigh and what not to weigh?  How do you handle your feelings toward the people who seem to be disappointed in what you’ve done or are about to do?  How do you keep your own convictions at a standard that isn’t affected by other people’s opinions?

 

 

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10 Responses to “Now that you’ve said that, I’m doubting myself.”

  1. peacefulwife February 18, 2013 at 8:01 am #

    Kayla,
    We bought a fixer upper 6 years ago. It had a lot of cosmetic issues, but more than that, we spent 3 months deciding where the kitchen would be, where the master suite would be, if we would have a dining room or not… Etc. the stress of remodeling was extremely intense. There are still 3 original bathrooms that need to be completely gutted, as well as the laundry room.

    But something I noticed within a week of moving in was that – this was home! Even with all the stuff that was wrong, my family was here, and it made it feel like home quickly.

    I kind of hope I never have to live through this much remodeling ever again in my life – but God used it to create much needed patience in me. And I have also learned not to care when material things get done or sometimes even if they ever get done.

    Now I know how to be content in a lot of circumstances that I could not be content in years ago.

    So, cosmetic things are nice to have fixed, but ultimately, they are not that big of a deal in light of eternity!

    Praying for wisdom for you and for God’s guidance and direction and peace!

    • Kayla Gulick February 18, 2013 at 10:59 am #

      Thanks April for sharing your own experience! I REALLY appreciate it!!!

  2. Rachel Self February 18, 2013 at 8:44 am #

    Praying for you, Kayla! You’re being obedient….God will bless you for that!

    • Kayla Gulick February 18, 2013 at 11:01 am #

      Thanks Rachel. Sometimes it seems like others voices drown out God’s and it’s hard to hear Him. I appreciate the reminder that I was ultimately being obedient to Him and my husband in the first place!!

  3. Merrie Beth February 18, 2013 at 9:59 am #

    My biggest piece of advice would be to weigh what your husband says more than what anyone else says. Especially if one or both of your parents are involved in giving their opinions. The whole leave and cleave thing has been on my heart lately as something to share with young moms. I’m dying to weave it in to one of my marriage talks but they are only once a month and have predetermined general topics that go with our church curriculum (compassion, honesty, peace, etc). It may not apply to you at all but was the immediate thing that came to mind.

    • Kayla Gulick February 18, 2013 at 11:02 am #

      I am SUCH an advocate for Leave & Cleave!!! I hope you get the chance to fit it into a teaching!!!

      Thanks for the encouragement and support! I really appreciate it!!!

  4. Merrie Beth February 18, 2013 at 11:12 am #

    By the way, we are currently putting an addition on our home. We put a deposit down 14 months ago with a recommended contractor expecting to have an addition by last summer, broke ground 8 months later for no understandable reason (6 months ago) and are about half done with the “3 month” project (still hopeful to have it done by this summer!) :). This as our kids travel at light speed towards being out of the house! They are in 7th and 8th grade. We’ve done (other houses) a full gut/remodel 20 years ago with my first husband (i was not a follower then so don’t let that deter you-but it did strain our marriage!) kitchen, a room inside a loft and a driveway. After each project I said “never again”. Yet here I am undertaking an addition. It’s had its tense moments but overall I feel it has been a testament to how far God has brought me in the past several years. With patience. Accepting that things happen when they happen. Accepting that things happen how they happen no matter how much you want to control their outcome. I’ve even practiced some respect on my contractor :). Just know that whatever you do, it will be a lot of work. It will take longer than you expect and cost more. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard a different remodel story! Lots of opportunity for growth! They haven’t even broken through to my old house yet so I know the heat is going to be turned way up then!

    • Kayla Gulick February 18, 2013 at 1:11 pm #

      I’m so thankful you’re willing to share your own story and experiences. It really helps when people give some concrete things to think and talk about! Annd I’m sorry your project has taken SO long : ( It seems like whenever we’re called to patience…it’s a long, ongoing challenge : )

  5. Emily C February 19, 2013 at 8:45 pm #

    One of the things that our pastor said in a message recently about wisdom, is to evaluate decisions by “is this a my way choice? “Or “is this a wise way choice? ”

    On your situation, the biggest thing that I think of is that home renovations tend to be a lot more costly and time consuming than most people tend to anticipate. With little expendable income, I would probably be weary of jumping into a “Moneypit”.

    But the bottom line is the choice is up to you and your husband; pray that God would give you wisdom and wise counsel through the people you trust most in your lives. Maybe discuss between the two of you who are the trusted advisors whose counsel you really want to take into account in making this decision. And then just trust that God will bring you the perfect house in the perfect time 🙂

    • Kayla Gulick February 19, 2013 at 8:47 pm #

      Thanks Emily!

      I really appreciate that insight and food for thought!

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