I’m just unsure.

18 Mar

I’m struggling this morning with how to word this post in a way that captures what’s happened in my heart over the weekend.

For about six weeks, my husband and I have been making plans and having conversations that all point us in a certain direction.  While a number of the details have been left to be determined, the main direction the road is leading seems obvious at least.  And this direction felt like it was given to us by the Lord.

And then this weekend happened.  Now, when some of the things are actually happening to start us “moving” in that direction and not just talking about it, all the sudden, it doesn’t feel like our feet are walking on solid ground anymore.

My gut instinct is to say ….. “and Satan enters the scene.”  Because I think that’s typical.  Whenever we are called by God to do anything and we accept that calling without giving way to fear or reservation, it’s going to bring about trials, temptations, and possibly persecution.

But, and maybe NOT always, Satan is usually easy to detect because He lies.  When you start to hold those doubts that come flooding in with his attacks against scripture, they don’t merit any weight.

For example:  “You’re not good enough”  “You’re not educated enough”  “You don’t make enough money” “No one is supporting you”

All that can be cut down by the truth of scripture.

I’m stuck trying to figure out if Satan just showed up in a more crafty way in our lives this week, if I’m not recognizing his lies, or if God is holding up the warning signs saying “Wrong way!”

This is a really big week for us.  We potentially will be making LIFE CHANGING decisions and our hands are tied with what choices are available to us.  All of them feel like a compromise.

Likely, I’m just an emotional woman.  I can get all spun up over nothing.  But I know I’m not out to lunch when I hear these words from my husband last night “I’m just not sure of anything right now.”

That’s tough when today might require some answers that are permanent answers.

Practical Application –

What is there left to pray but Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

I have no idea how things are going to work out this week.  All I know is that I love the Lord, I want to serve Him, and I want what He wants for our lives beyond what I think I might want.

That might seem impractical, after all, that still doesn’t specifically TELL me the answers.  No it doesn’t.  But it reminds me that the options available to us are what they are, but God is sovereign and He sees beyond what seems like a lose/lose to us – and in the process of making our paths straight, He will turn this into a win/win.




2 Responses to “I’m just unsure.”

  1. Emily C March 18, 2013 at 8:03 am #

    Oh Kayla I feel for you guys! So thankful that together you are in the same page, even if its a page of unsure-ness and indecision. Whatever you guys do just walk forward in faith, trusting that God knows what you guys need to hear to change your decisions and trusting that He will change things supernaturally if he desires you to walk differently. I think if you walk in faith, there is not room for the enemy to have his way!

    Praying for you guys in your decisions!

    • Kayla Gulick March 18, 2013 at 8:05 am #

      Thank you Emily!! Encouragement from the body has been the refreshing water to my spirit that constantly reminds me how alive and FOR us our God really is!! I so appreciate you taking the time to drop us a note of support! And for the prayers!!

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