But I didn’t do anything!

21 Mar

I was reading a post today on The Respect Dare Blog – and something she wrote, really stuck out to me.  I’ve written on this topic before, but the way she worded this was fantastic and powerful!  And I really want to share it with you.

Nina was using this in terms of dealing with a 3-year-old son, however, this to me is surprisingly (or not really) much more relevant in our every day lives in all of our adult relationships.

Check this out – she writes:

Even though I hadn’t wounded him personally and the enemy had, I had to help him. I had to facilitate forgiveness for him so he could move on.


Read that again.

How easy for us to grow defensive and cold when we’re being lashed out against for doing something we didn’t do or intend to do?

We may very well have been  keeping our nose out of someone elses business and in that process, the enemy lies to that person and tells them “they weren’t minding their own business, they were uncaring and cruel and didn’t step up to help out when you needed them.”

We might speak the truth in love, and be misunderstood as the enemy twists our words to put an unloving spin on them.

We sometimes get the short end of the stick when we don’t react the way someone else would, and the enemy spins that into “my way is the right way, and that makes them wrong. How could anyone think that’s OK?”

Whatever the case may be… we’ve all said “But I didn’t do anything wrong!”  “That’s their problem!”  “That isn’t what I meant, I’m not apologizing for that.”  “That’s not what I said.”  “I can’t help it if they want me to live by their convictions – that’s not who I am!”


The challenge here is to ask God for compassion.  Like Jesus looking in the face of the adulterous woman, drawing a line in the sand and saying “Let him without sin cast the first stone.”

We have to acknowledge the spiritual maturity and even just the deception of the situation at hand and be willing to facilitate forgiveness for our brother and sisters in Christ so they don’t drink the poison against us and live in turmoil when we can help.

So what if we have to apologize?  If it means showing compassion, saving a brother and sister from unforgiveness, and putting others before ourself… so what?!

Why not say, “That must have really hurt you.  I’m so sorry that’s the way I came across. I would never want you to feel that way.”

Or “This must have been really hard to tell me as much as you’re hurting.  Thank you.  I’m so sorry you struggled with this.”

Or “I wasn’t aware how that would make you feel if I did/didn’t _______.  I’ll put forth the effort to ________ from now on.”

Practical Application –

Be a compassionate brother/sister in Christ!

Take a backseat and help facilitate forgiveness for those who can’t get there on their own, even if you didn’t do anything wrong – but the enemy did.



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