31 May

A few months ago, a friend of mine who just went back to work in a hospital after being a stay at home mom for seven or so years said to me “I didn’t realize how sheltered I was.  You should hear these women talk.  They curse like nobodies business and gossip constantly, even to me, on my first couple days of training.  It was like culture shock.”

I thought about what she said and realized, my kids are sheltered – but *I’m* extremely sheltered as well, maybe even more than them.

In the last two days, I listened to a song on YouTube that a friend told me to listen to and I couldn’t believe it.  And then, I turned on the news today on the television (something I haven’t done in YEARS) and the VERY first thing I saw was a commercial for a new television show called “Mistresses.”

The commercial, playing at noon, had mostly naked women rolling on top of men without shirts on in what I would classify as nothing less than pornography.  So if the name wasn’t enough to get you, the visual display sure would.

(Here is the trailer – DO NOT WATCH with children near your computer!! – )

I was dumbfounded.

And felt intense relief that my children were NOT in the room when I turned the TV on, again – at NOON to watch THE NEWS.

Being sheltered has a REALLY bad wrap.  Whenever I tell anyone that we send our kids to private Christian school, or that friends of ours home school, there is a list of at least 5 objections – but the number one is ALWAYS “they’re going to be so sheltered, socially awkward and go crazy in college.”

I disagree.

I suppose if there is not active parenting, then the chances of that are much higher.  But for every ridiculously crazy “kid gone wild” story you’ve heard – there are many more out there of kids who didn’t do that as well.

Classic case of judging a group by the acts of one member.

Anyway, the maturity level of a college kid often plays into the failure of giving into temptations – but not always.  I know plenty of adults who succumb to peer pressure very easily.  I have, plenty of times.

I actually think being sheltered helps aid in the success of not going wild.

Here me out.

Do you know why that song and that commercial bothered me so much?  Because I NEVER, EVER see or hear things like that.  And so it was VERY easy and EXTREMELY obvious that those were disturbing, wrong and inappropriate.

I remember when I use to cuss constantly.  There was a time when someone said “did you hear what she just said?”  And I hadn’t.  There was nothing obvious about the curse word because it was a part of my every day life.

Now however, I can’t watch a single rated R movie, and VERY limited PG 13 ones because if there is any cussing, it drives me crazy!!  Especially useless cursing.

Let me clarify incase this is being read wrong, I do not believe sheltered is the same as uneducated.

Being uneducated is dangerous.  It’s wise to know what is happening in the world. We can’t make proper choices if we are unaware of the circumstances of the situations and world we live in.

But being sheltered means creating a safe environment where one can thrive in Christ without being friends with the world.

Think about it –

The definition of shelter is – a dwelling place or home considered as a refuge from the elements.

Why wouldn’t we all want to be sheltered from the evil elements of this world?

If today has left me with nothing else – it has left me with an even greater urgency to pray for my husband who is out in the world more often than I am and to make sure our home is a safe shelter.

Practical Application:

Accept being called “sheltered” as a positive thing instead of an insult.

Rejoice in and preserve the shelter of our home, keeping it safe and free from dangers to our spiritual health.

Pray more earnestly for my husband who faces the elements on a more regular basis.


15 Responses to “Sheltered”

  1. Rachel Self May 31, 2013 at 2:46 pm #

    Yes! My husband and I were JUST talking about this! Since he’s more than likely going to be involved in Christian School education, and our someday kids will either be homeschooled or sent to Christian School–we get that all the time! The other day he looked at me and said, “I just don’t get it. OF COURSE I want to shelter & protect my children from the things of the world. What Christian wouldn’t?”

    I’m still so grateful that my parents “sheltered” me! I don’t look back and wish they would have exposed me to more things. In fact–there are some things I was exposed to that I wish they could have sheltered me from.

    • Kayla Gulick May 31, 2013 at 3:02 pm #

      Thank you for sharing that!!!

      I too wish I had been sheltered from more. I grew up in a home where Christianity was a part of life. Which is vastly different that, Christianity is the purpose of life.

      I went to church, church camp, Wednesday night youth group, and other events… but I don’t feel you can combat the world with those things alone.

      It wasn’t enough for me. I still went down the wrong road. Totally out of control road? No. But a road with life long consequences none the less, and deep regrets.

      Good Luck to you and your husband! Your kids will be well spiritually provided for with parents like you 🙂

      • Rachel Self June 3, 2013 at 5:17 pm #

        So my husband and I don’t even HAVE tv, so I hadn’t seen the commercial you were talking about. And then today I’m listening to Pandora while working–and I have it on “Meredith Andrews” radio station. And the last 3 ads have been for Mistresses…. Even the radio commercials are horrible, talking about “man-candy”. UGH. I’m listening to a CHRISTIAN station. It makes me so frustrated sometimes.

      • Kayla Gulick June 3, 2013 at 7:27 pm #

        ARE YOU SERIOUS??!!!

        It’s so frustrating that it feels like we have to refuse almost all entertainment now because it’s all so tainted 😦

  2. Beth May 31, 2013 at 4:45 pm #

    I have battled some similar issues the last few weeks. I turned on the tv to HGTV this week to watch a renovation show (which was fine) it was the commercial advertising grotesque scifi movies. I quickly changed the channel in which there was a similar commercial. I said “forget it!” and shut it off! With young eyes and ears around it frustrates me that I can’t watch a show in the middle of the afternoon. And this was one instance…GMA was featuring a new movie with homosexuality in it….at 8am….so newsworthy! Kelly Rippa…and whoever her new cohost is…talking about sex…repeatedly at 9am….my 4 year old doesn’t need to hear those things! So it’s either shut it off or Mickey Mouse clubhouse here we come! I welcome the sheltered life… sometimes. Other times I wish I knew a little more of the world…especially when my child is coming home singing songs I have no clue about…it is sad we have to research…

    • Kayla Gulick May 31, 2013 at 6:06 pm #

      Thanks for sharing that Beth!

      I’m with you – I wish we could enjoy more entertainment too. Especially because some things Josh and I are old enough to discern but the context is always a little further than necessary making it inappropriate even for adults. I hate that line being pushed all the time now!

      You’re a great mom though if you do research and don’t just write it off as harmless! Keep up the great protection – one day your girls will thank you!!!

  3. songsofintimacy June 1, 2013 at 1:02 am #

    Wow, totally agree!!
    I am an example of a girl that was raised with pretty much no “shelter”. I had little rules. Meaning my sisters and I could watch WHATEVER we wanted on TV, pretty much had no curfew as when to come home at night, we could wear WHATEVER we wanted.(Which sadly to me as a young teen meant less was best, if you get my drift.) So to some of my friends my parents could’ve been called the “cool” parents. But I’ll tell ya now with so much passion and honesty… OH HOW I WISH I HAD BEEN SHELTERED!!!.. Even if it would’ve been just a little bit. For goodness sake!
    Oh how I wish my parents WOULD HAVE told me, No, you can’t watch that. No, you can not wear that. Or No, you may not come home at that time. And of course with their love.
    So I guess I say all that to say this…PLEASE shelter/PROTECT your kids/teens as long and as much as is possible. They WILL grow up one day..such as I and even if they never thank you..the innocence that you saved them will amaze you. And at least they can never say that they had wished you would’ve protected them more. Because that is what shelter is ..a protection! And what child doesn’t really, truly, sincerely, deeply want to be lovingly protected, for heavens sake! 🙂
    (And I’m not talkin about some controlling cult.) But I promise you they not only NEED your sheltering and protection (A.K.A Discipline and Rules) they WANT it.
    Believe me. 🙂

    • Kayla Gulick June 1, 2013 at 7:52 am #

      Thank you so much or sharing that! It’s good to hear from all sides. Girls who grew up with a lot of shletler, some shelter and no shelter! It even helps us know how to better explain things to our kids now and combat the pressure coming at them from other angles!
      I’m so glad you posted this!

  4. songsofintimacy June 1, 2013 at 1:11 am #

    Wow! Totally agree!!! Awesome!
    I wrote a lengthy comment but I don’t know what happened to it. It said it had published but I don’t see it. Aw man to bad it was totally good and from my heart. Oh well.

    • Kayla Gulick June 1, 2013 at 7:54 am #

      Sorry to confuse you!! It posted – but I have all my comments on moderation because when I didn’t, people were able to leave destructive comments and I wanted to better moderate that.

      I’m COMPLETELY in favor of other opinions and questions – but not things that attack me. If there is that much to disagree on – I feel they just shouldn’t read along 🙂

  5. Jenn June 2, 2013 at 11:40 am #

    This topic enters my mind frequently now that I have a school age child. He has come home with several things where I have simply had to say, “that’s not what we do here at our house.” And in addition, I will ask, “who makes the rules we follow?” He will answer, “God.” Recently a concern (not really a direct issue for us) but a concern, was a same sex couple. I thought, one day this will come up about a friend’s parents and I will have to address the situation. Our pastor recently has been advising on parental/family topics and this was my favorite: Set limits/restrictions as they are necessary to communicate real love to your children.

    • Kayla Gulick June 2, 2013 at 1:50 pm #

      Oh that’s good!

      It is SO tough to completely get our mind around loving, being gracious, and being a light and also following scripture, having boundaries, and not accepting or tolerating sin.

      Even as adults – it’s hard.

      So to teach and yet protect our kids – it’s even harder!!

      But I firmly believe the first and best indication that we’ll do the best by our kids – is acknowledging the issue and being aware that it matters, right now – instead of looking back 20 years later in disbelief that we didn’t realize we should have done more.

      I’m sure being in the public school teaching brings about good and bad challenges for you and for your kids. Praying for you to have wisdom and insight during those moments when it takes courage and faith to handle what lies ahead!!

  6. ronfurg June 16, 2013 at 9:45 pm #

    Kayla — I loved this posting and took the liberty of reposting it on my wee blog: Ron <

    • Kayla Gulick June 16, 2013 at 9:48 pm #

      Thanks so much! I hope it serves to be a light for others as they are challenged by what I’m learning in my own life. Have a blessed week!

  7. sαη∂y♡ (@TheTrueSandy) December 5, 2013 at 9:14 am #

    I agree! Sheltered does not mean uneducated! We are to be wise as serpents, harmless as doves.

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