Best Friends

13 Jun

My best friend use to live 20 minutes from me.  Last August, she moved two hours away.  It was a really rough time.  Two hours really isn’t that far, so visiting is possible whenever we really need too…. but it’s just far enough that weekly playdates all summer long are out of the question.  Running out to grab a cup of coffee together after a really bad day is not an option.  And getting the family together for a cookout, is a planned vacation which actually has to be budgeted now with gas at $4 a gallon for a four-hour round trip!

I’m still glad she doesn’t live 10 hours away! But it’s been an adjustment.

I think the reality that distance might separate us, cause us to drift, or circumstantially allow for either of us to grow closer  in a friendship with someone else has been present since she moved away.   Why?  Because that’s the way it always goes for me.

In my life, up until I became friends with Steph, I have had 4 best friends in my life.

My first two best friends and I grew apart as we grew up.  We joined different crowds, participated in different activities in school, and just went different directions.

It’s funny now, because the one girl’s (now) husband use to work at a college I started working at and he  introduced me to my husband, shortly after that, they met, he went back to school, ended up pastoring at my old church and we rekindled our friendship.  Now, THEY live like 2-3 hours from us again, but I’d still consider her one of my very dear friends! In fact, they came back last year and performed and helped with our vow renewal.  It was so great.

The other girl was my friend at a very early age, and then we didn’t talk much until we were juniors in high school again. She became my maid of honor when I got married and then fell of the face of the earth a month later.  She sent me a card eventually that said it was weird that she was young and undecided what to do with her life and I was married, so she just backed away.  It was really hurtful.  Since growing up and Facebook became so popular, we’re friends on there now, but we haven’t talked in person in MANY years.

My third best friend was only my best friend during 5th – 8th grade.  She filled that gap when the first two girls and I were drifting apart.

And my fourth best friend and I had a pretty devastating misunderstanding, and it ruined our friendship immediately.  That was awful.  Something I never hope I ever experience again.  Only because of Jesus and His healing power have we both forgiven each other and are speaking again since last summer.

In the last (almost) 30 years, I’ve had a million more friends.  And I can remember even saying “she’s like my best friend” but either something kept us from being similar enough to almost always be on the same page, or one of us had a best friend already at the time so you knew they might be your best friend but your weren’t their best friend type of thing.

I say all this to share that, friendships come and go in life all the time.  Sometimes people were only meant to be in our lives for a season. And other times, time or distance just separates us. But I think we all (especially women) need friends and long to have a best friend.   And for some reason, they aren’t easy to find.

Either we’ve been burned before and we’re afraid.  We can’t find anyone we are similar enough with to withstand that intimate of a friendship.  We have different schedules or are at different stages or seasons of life.  The spouses don’t care for each other (that’s the WORST one of all!!)  There are tons of reasons.

But I know that as long as I’ve lived, I wish I had a best friend for life.  Something about that is so appealing.  I feel like we were made to be loyal.  We were designed to be faithful and intimate with our Savior, our Spouses, our Christian family, and our friends.  So a life-long friendship is extremely desirable!

And I must not be alone, because the movies with those type of themes are always so popular.  Where either two girls or two guys grow up as neighbors and are friends for life.  Or even, a guy and a girl and they are friends who secretly love each other but never tell each other and somehow eventually get married.

My best friend has a daughter who is 5 months older than my daughter.  They are silly adorable together.  I took so many pictures of them together the last three days when they came down to visit.

The chances that they’ll be life long friends is slim.  I doubt their mom’s being friends who live two hours apart if going to force a fantastic bond, but on the off-chance that they build a great friendship of their own, and one day become each others maid of honor, we’ll have all these adorable pictures of them together since birth to share 🙂  Like this one:

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I suppose the only way we can help them be best friends some day is to model a good best friendship for them, and teach them how to be a good friend.

And maybe today’s practical application can be a self-test of how we’re doing in our friendships – not just with our best friends, but with all our friends.

Practical Application:

1.) Do I keep in touch and check in on my friends?

2.) Do I care about what is important to them?

3.) Do I value their opinions, insights and ideas?

4.) Do I keep their secrets?

5.) Do I give honest, Godly advice?

6.) Am I being the kind of friend I hope to have in my life?

 

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2 Responses to “Best Friends”

  1. Stephanie June 13, 2013 at 9:26 am #

    I love you. And now I’ve started my morning in tears… Miss you already!

    • Kayla Gulick June 13, 2013 at 9:35 am #

      Love you too girl! I can’t imagine life without you. XOXO

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