Kryptonite

1 Jul

It took me a long time to learn this truth…. but I finally have it printed on my heart.  MY HUSBAND IS A HERO!!! Flaws and all! He’s still the knight in shining armor who protects my family – no matter if he isn’t perfect in every way.

Hey married ladies – YOUR HUSBAND IS A HERO TOO!  Yes, you read that right.  And no, I don’t care about that list that I don’t know about that he does that you know about and hate.  That list doesn’t matter. Why?

Because your husband is not who YOU say he is – YOUR HUSBAND is who GOD SAYS HE IS!

And GOD says that YOUR HUSBAND is A HERO – the leader, the provider, the protector, the master, the front-man in battle, and the one who will answer for your family.

If your husband is a Christian, he already knows this about himself.  He may not believe he has what it takes to fulfill those roles – but he’s aware from his relationship with Christ that he’s to love you like Christ loves the Church — and that command isn’t given to “losers.”

If your husband is not a Christian, that doesn’t mean he isn’t a hero.  It just means HE hasn’t discovered yet how God feels about him.  He’s still the Hero of the story.  God doesn’t start loving a man AFTER he accepts him.  He loves us WHILE we are still sinners.  And God made your husband to be the hero…. he just needs to discover that truth for himself.

In BOTH of these scenarios – we wives play a very IMPORTANT or very DESTRUCTIVE role!

Let’s take a look at some examples…….

In Scripture, we see from the very beginning that Eve was deceived and then lead the way for Adam to sin by also eating the forbidden fruit.

In this scenario – all Eve’s “wisdom” and “knowing-better” than her husband caused herself to stumble and her husband to sin. (Genesis 3:6)

In Scripture we see that Sarai (Sarah) was full of desire for a child, so she convinces her husband to sleep with and have a child with her maidservant Hagar.  Which led to a slew of problems…  but greatest of all, the birth of Ishmael, who is the father of the destruction in the middle-east we still see today.  (Genesis 16)

In this scenario – Sarai was set on getting what she wanted when she wanted it, that she lead her husband into adultery causing problems for herself, him, Hagar, Ishmael, and a slew of other people she never even realized she could affect.

In Scripture we see that Job’s wife was distressed at the trouble the Lord was allowing in her life and the life of her husband, so she tells Job “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and Die!” (Job 2:9)

In this scenario we see that Job’s wife was not yielded to the Lord in every area once trouble came, and she encouraged her husband to curse God for the trouble he was experiencing.

But I believe the worst example of all in scripture is the story of Samson and Delilah.  For the sake of not allowing this post to be too lengthy, I won’t post the whole story but I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you read the whole story.  It won’t take long.  (Judges 16:1-21)  The short of it though is that we see Delilah try to trick Samson into telling her the secret of his strength.  She deceives him, manipulates him, nags him (scripture says she nagged him until he was tired to death.) and says “How can you say you love me when you won’t do this for me?”

And Samson gave into her – and he ended up with his eyes gouged out and in prison.

I don’t know about you – but when I read the story of Samson and Delilah – I hate her.  I get so mad at her that her greed for money allows her to trick the man who loves her so much, KNOWING it will cost him – possibly his life.  Her tactics seems so obvious and disgusting.

And in total honesty, I also get a little angry with Samson. “You’re such a fool – Samson.”  You saw three times that she tried to trick you.  Why in the world would you give into her???

And that’s when things get WAY too real.  She was his Kryptonite.

To be honest – women are often the Kryptonite for every man – even the most godly men on the earth.

Adam was able to walk in the garden with the Lord – and he fell on account of Eve.  Abram spoke to the Lord and was promised descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky, and yet he listened to his wife and had a child with her maidservant.  Samson had strength that no man can even fathom and yet, Delilah with all her nagging and manipulation tricks him into telling her the secret of his strength and ends up being tortured and captured.

And *I* can look back on my own marriage and see times when I played the same games as Delilah.  And sometimes persuaded my husband to make ME happy – not necessarily in submission to the will of God – but in submission to my will.

I am my husband’s kryptonite.  Thankfully my husband is learning to resist any temptations to follow any direction that is not the will of God – but I know that I have the power to support, encourage, follow, submit, help, assist, and build him up ….. or I have the power to discourage, nag, manipulate, hinder, resist, and tear him down.

Practical Application:

Look back on your marriage and ask yourself, have I been his kryptonite or his strength?

Have I expected him to submit to my will, or for us together to submit to God’s will?

What changes do I need to make in my marriage to use the power I have in my husband’s life in a way that builds him up as the hero of our story instead of assisting in making him fall?

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4 Responses to “Kryptonite”

  1. peacefulwife July 1, 2013 at 11:52 am #

    Love this, Kayla!!!!!!! God is doing a beautiful work in you!!!!!!! Thank you for inspiring other wives to see the truth about their husbands, themselves and God. 🙂

    • Kayla Gulick July 1, 2013 at 11:57 am #

      Thanks April 🙂 I hope I don’t just gain a lot of head knowledge over my life – but that I’m faithful to apply what I learn. I don’t want to be a hearer – without being a doer!

  2. trixie1466 July 1, 2013 at 1:49 pm #

    Kayla,

    I love the idea of being supportive, but he alone is accountable for making poor choices. I agree we can make it difficult for them by being disrespectful. When my husband is impatient, unloving or rude to me, I alone am accountable for how I respond. I definitely encourage respectful behavior by wives because our Savior commands us to do that and I want to honor my husband and do good for him all his days. It is disrespectful to assume that we have that much power over our husbands that they are unable to make the right choices unless we do first.

    • Kayla Gulick July 1, 2013 at 2:04 pm #

      Trixie,

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

      I think you might have implied more than I actually wrote.

      I didn’t say we are responsible for the choices they make. Nor did I say that we have the power to force them to sin.

      In fact, I referenced Job’s wife and her ill toward trying to persuade her husband to curse God and die… but Job actually replies to his wife “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept the good from God and not the bad?” He didn’t give into her. She wasn’t “all-powerful” over him.

      I’m a little confused why it’s “disrespectful to assume that we have that much power over out husbands that they are unable to make the right choices unless we do first?”

      I think it is either wise or foolish to think women are man’s greatest temptation. Not disrespectful??

      It’s OK if you disagree that women are not men’s kryptonite.
      I just want to make sure you know that I wasn’t saying we have the power to force men to fall or sin. Only they can make their own choices.
      But I hesitate to suggest any of us should underestimate how great a temptation we truly are. Especially when a man LOVES his wife and is fueled to make her happy.

      I’m so glad you shared your thoughts!!

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