Just be there.

8 Jul

Last week my husband was home on shut down. Each year, his company closes the whole week of July 4th and then again the whole week of Christmas. And no, it doesn’t count against his three weeks of vacation each year. It’s just an incredibly awesome perk that we all love!!

We had a wonderful week together. As every married couple knows, those type of “with each other 24/7” experiences can either go one of two ways. Wonderful or Disastrous. Thankfully, we had a great week. We didn’t annoy each other, end up arguing over something silly or waste the time away. In fact, I feel like it was one of the best shutdowns we’ve had over the last 12 years.

One night, we took the kids to the park and the weather was BEAUTIFUL! We let them ride the bike trails for a long time, grabbed some ice cream, and played on the equipment without being in a rush or having to cut the time short. It was relaxing and fun.

We also had free tickets from Christmas to cash in at Sauder Village (an awesome outdoor museum with reenactments of life in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s.) The kids did a really good job being out walking around for three hours and we learned some neat facts from that time period.

My brother and his family were in town for a day and we usually only see them twice a year, so we were able to spend some time with them too.

It was just an awesome week!

Last night, I asked Josh if he could fix our daughters broken dresser drawer before heading back to work. He got to work on it right away.
And then this happened.

 

 

Nail

 

 

OUCH!  A finishing nail right to the ring finger.

I heard him yell for me “Kayla Jill, I need you to come here right now” from the garage.

And I knew he was hurt.  His voice wasn’t weak or telling, it was his choice of words.  Normally he’d say “Hey Babe, can you come here when you get a chance.” Or “Hey Honey, I want you to see something, can you come over here.”

So I was preparing myself as I ran over there for what I was going to see and all I remember thinking was “I didn’t hear a saw.”  And when I got there he held up his finger.

And I kicked right into emergency mode.  I got him a chair to sit down and a cold wash cloth to fight the dizziness and hot flashes that happen when you get an injury like that and then when he was able to focus, I let him decide if he wanted me to pull it out or take him in to the emergency room.

He knew he needed to go in because he has already tried to pull it from adrenaline the second it went in and it didn’t budge, and he knew from the nausea that it was in the bone.

So I told all the kids in a serious voice that they needed to get in the car right now.  The kids said later that I freaked them out because I was so serious, but I knew my kids and I knew if I wasn’t serious, they’d take ten years trying to find shoes, fighting with each other, and asking a thousand questions.  I mean, as soon as they saw Josh get in the car, they started in with questions and panic about if Daddy was going to be OK or not, BUT at least they were all in the car and listening to me.

Anyway, I have a friend who lives two blocks from the hospital and she was wonderful enough to let me drop the kids off to her so we didn’t have to face that mess of taking them all in with us, but before I dropped them off I asked Josh “Do you want me to drop you off so you can get started, or drop the kids off first.”

And with a calm, steady, but serious voice he looked straight ahead and said, “No, I want you with me.”

So I hurried the kids out of the car and into my friend’s house in seconds and rushed over to the ER.

I was never freaking out or in a panic at all.  I kept suggesting that he sit down while we were doing the paper work and then offered encouragement that the tetanus shot wouldn’t hurt and that I’d hold his hand if he wanted while he got the awful numbing medicine (that shot is some kind of awful!  I had it before and it’s worse than the injury usually!)

He didn’t seem like he needed me at all.  I mean, he wasn’t mean but I remember feeling confused a little as to why he was serious about wanting me there because he was pretty calm, cool and collected the whole time.

And then after we got home, he thanked me TWICE – two separate times- for going with him.

And I suddenly remembered how different men are than women.  He didn’t need my encouragement.  He didn’t need my reassurance.  He didn’t need my calm support.

He just needed me to be there.

Like shoulder to shoulder interaction.  When he was vulnerable with a nail in his finger, he wanted me by his shoulder.

So I did what any wife desperately in love with her husband would do.

I thanked him for wanting me with him.  It was the most loving gesture a man can offer.

Practical Application –

Just be there.  Stop thinking like a female for just enough time to “BE THERE” shoulder to shoulder with your man.  Especially if he wants you there.  He’s telling you “I pick you.  I love you.  I want you.  I choose you.”  – So BE THERE!

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4 Responses to “Just be there.”

  1. The Heartbeat of the Home July 8, 2013 at 3:42 pm #

    I love your analogy of shoulder to shoulder time. (Love and Respect maybe?) I am not much for face to face time and I myself like to have shoulder to shoulder time with my husband. I am so glad he was okay. My poor husband would have passed out and I would have had a heck of a time getting him to go anywhere lol.

    • Kayla Gulick July 8, 2013 at 3:47 pm #

      HAHA!

      And thank you. Yes – definitely love and respect!!

  2. songsofintimacy July 8, 2013 at 11:19 pm #

    I nominated you for the Shine On Award! Keep shining…thanks for your great posts. 🙂

    https://songsofintimacy.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/the-%e2%98%86shine-on%e2%98%86-award/

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