Regret – Practical Application.

20 Jul

I finished my post on Regret the other day saying that I wasn’t quite ready to fill in my practical application…. and I wasn’t.

This morning, I am.

I was reading in Corinthians the other morning and brushed through this section of scripture quickly as I’ve read it so many times before; and yet this morning as I was spending time with the Lord, this came flooding back to the forefront of my mind.

Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.  ((2 Corinthians 12:6-9))

Here’s the truth – the memories of my past keep me humble.  I do feel a great deal of shame and regret.  God doesn’t want me to be beat down with these memories as though I should bury myself in a hole, rather – these memories are what gives me the love and … wait for it, real shocker here – MERCY, that I understand so deeply in my own life and have for others.

This “thorn” in my flesh of being tormented by my failures cannot be removed, because I in my pathetic, addictive nature would

1.) Fall back into the same old sins.

2.) Become Conceited.

3.) Lose my ability to witness with mercy.

I often look around and see the people who personally know my mistakes and cannot look at me any differently.  They have labels for me that I will never be free from.  LIAR, SLUT, MANIPULATER, UNTRUSTWORTHY, IMMATURE

And because of that, I feel overwhelmed by the people I can’t change, can’t witness to, and can’t find a new beginning with.

When in reality, it’s such a small handful of people.  More people read this blog and are ministered to (at least 4 times as many) than the number of people I can think of that will never, ever care for me in this life.

So here’s my practical application:

As hard as it is, THANK YOU GOD for the memories.

Thank you for pouring out mercy in a way that I understand that few on this Earth ever come to fully grasp, and giving me a heart to show mercy in a way few will ever be willing to show.

Keep praying for guidance and help to keep this perspective because it teeters so closely to the line where Satan wants me to be – defeated, embarrassed, shamed, regretful and in hiding.

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7 Responses to “Regret – Practical Application.”

  1. peacefulwife July 20, 2013 at 7:44 am #

    WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    What a beautiful moment of clarity.

    What a powerful message from Jesus!!!!

    THANK YOU for sharing. This brings me tears of joy. I am so thankful for you and for all that God is doing in you.

    He is creating SUCH BEAUTY in you – my precious sister in Christ!

    • peacefulwife July 20, 2013 at 8:01 am #

      Kayla,

      As I was getting ready for work – God brought to mind Romans 8 – I have read it the past two days. What an AWESOME scripture. And I was thinking…

      The people who condemn and label you are NOT your judge! And they are not even on the jury.

      Your Judge says, “there is no longer any condemnation” for you because you “are in Christ.”

      Nothing can separate you from His love!

      Here is one of my favorite songs – I think it is so fitting for this topic:

      Redeemed by Big Daddy Weave

      • Kayla Gulick July 20, 2013 at 8:11 am #

        LOVE that song!! It will always hold a special place in my heart!!

        And thank you – YES – a fantastic moment of clarity from the Lord, and a renewed joy today.

  2. learning1 July 20, 2013 at 12:17 pm #

    So encouraging to hear of this moment of clarity for you! It is uplifting to see the wisdom in what you have found so as to help me and others with those same feelings! I love the way He comes through, in his way in His time, like this!

    • Kayla Gulick July 20, 2013 at 8:24 pm #

      Thank you for the encouraging words!! God is so good to bring clarity in our heartaches.

  3. howsyourlovelife July 23, 2013 at 10:09 am #

    I respect you all the more for walking out of the yuck, and for being brave enough to share the journey. You’re doing great!

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