It wasn’t “No” it was “Wait.”

2 Sep

Have you ever asked God for something and then wondered is He saying “Yes, No, or Wait?”

It’s tempting for us to ask for something and want it that very day.

“Lord, change my husband, TODAY – in the ways I’m suggesting to you.”

“Lord, help me get a raise, TODAY – and this amount would be best for us.”

“Lord, we want to have a baby – THIS MONTH!”

“Lord, please heal his body – IMMEDIATELY.”

Understand that I’m not suggesting praying for any of these things is wrong, or even wanting these things immediately is sinful at all!

But when God chooses not to answer our prayers instantaneously in the way that we want to see them answered, we’re stuck in this wondering of “Is God saying “No” or is He saying “Wait?”

And here’s the truth. “Wait” for us is also very short-lived. When we have a problem or situation at hand, we can pretty quickly rationalize what would be the only “good” conclusion for us. And when that doesn’t happen, all other solutions seem like they won’t really be for our good or won’t bring about happiness or fulfillment for us.

This has happened to me countless times in my life. But especially in my married life.

There was a time (7 years long) when I wanted to see so much spiritual growth in my husband, and I wasn’t seeing it. I would pray and beg God to reveal certain truths to him, and then be crushed and disappointed when he didn’t come home from work proclaiming to me these great revelations. Or start spontaneously asking me to pray with him each day.

I remember thinking things like “It’s hopeless. He’ll never change. He’s too hard-headed. He’s too self-absorbed. He just won’t listen to me.”

And then, in God’s way – my husband started growing and growing and changes started happening in his life that I never believed would.
Do I no longer see anywhere that I wish growth would happen in his life? Of course not. And He could certainly say the same for me. I want us BOTH to keep growing and maturing in the Lord, being changed to reflect Christ. However, now – I trust that just because God doesn’t change him (or me) completely immediately, or even in the next two months — that doesn’t mean God said No or there is no hope for us.

After having our second son, I wanted a daughter more than anything. We wanted to be done having children with just two. And my husband could have been. But my desire for a daughter just grew and grew daily. So we started trying to have another baby. After 3 miscarriages and months of not conceiving – a total of 15 months went by before I was pregnant with a baby that I would carry full term. It was a really long 15 months. It’s amazing how time slows down when you’re in the middle of a trial. I look back now as my son is 4 years old today and wonder where that 15 months went. But when I read my journal entries and remember the hundreds of nights falling asleep in tears, I know it was a very long season. I was certain I’d never carry another baby full term.

And to be honest with you- when I found out he was a boy, my heart broke. I was so glad he was healthy and I knew he’s be the perfect addition to our family, but my desire for a daughter was still there – real and raw. But God had everything under control. He knew my desire and He chose to fulfill that desire – in His timing, for His purposes. He created Jaxon because He loved Him and wanted Him. And He knew the good purposes He would fulfill. I didn’t know all of that before because I couldn’t see past my own solutions and desires. But when Jaxon was 6 months old, I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant with another baby, my daughter.

With this growing family, it wasn’t long before our 968 sq ft house was getting smaller and smaller. We didn’t have a basement, crawl space, or attic space. We only had 2 bedrooms and the living quarters was very tight. I battled the desire for some more space – (even for the purposes of being able to invite anyone over to visit with us, because we barely fit in our living room – let alone another family joining us) and feeling intense guilt that people in other parts of the world didn’t even have running water, shelter or air conditioning. How dare I want “more or bigger.” The market crashed, our house became worth FAR LESS than we paid for it and we were highly convicted that we didn’t want to do a short sale. We believed we made an agreement with the bank to pay back a certain amount of money, and if we couldn’t do that, we were at fault – not the economy or the bank. We weren’t in danger, we were in “wanting.” And there is a HUGE difference there. So, we were stuck.

We tried to sell for 6 years. It was emotional – constantly working on contentment and yet riding the ups and downs of having showings thinking “maybe God is going to move us, now?” I finally accepted “No.” We weren’t going to move – this was going to be the house we lived in and made work for us. And we were going to be happy.
And then, God moved us in 30 days. I honestly had believed it was never going to happen – at least not for a good 10 years at a minimum. I was in shock. And truthfully, every time I pull into our new house – I still am.

And maybe the most surprising of all – there were some intensely broken relationships in our extended family. Damage that I was positive would never, ever be repaired or restored. Eleven years of hurt feelings, intentional cruelty, and spiritual devastation had run amuck in every single direction imaginable. And yet, in the last year, I’ve watched God change hearts of stone, tear down brick walls, and bring change that I was positive no amount of prayer could even begin to touch. That might be the very first time when I understood that in my life, God is bigger than EVERYTHING. There is absolutely NOTHING He cannot do.

I’m in awe this morning that God has rarely ever said “No.” I’m not saying He hasn’t. I’ve certainly prayed for things that never happened. But those things are hard to name now because they weren’t even really important. And they weren’t things that taught me intense lessons to wait on.

Practical Application –

Spend some time reflecting on the situations and circumstances in your life that you were positive would never change, where you’d never find healing, where the days were so long you literally wondered if you could take anymore — but are now totally different, have been healed, joy has been restored, or growth has taken place. And thank God that when He says “Wait”, it’s always for our good and brings about fruit we could never grow in our “hurry up and give it to me right now in this way” mind-set.


9 Responses to “It wasn’t “No” it was “Wait.””

  1. Mandy September 2, 2013 at 9:39 am #

    LOVE this! In the midst of trials, it is SO hard to remember that God is not deaf to our prayers or dispassionate toward our feelings. His plan is perfect, but it is difficult to remember that when you feel like there is no hope. It is easy to look back and see the beauty of how things turned out, not so easy to look forward with faith that it will indeed be exactly as it should.

    I am in the middle of a situation that does make me think things will never change. People will never change. Your words have renewed my hope, and reminded me to be patient and wait on God. I very much needed this today, thank you.

    • Kayla Gulick September 2, 2013 at 9:42 am #

      You’re welcome Mandy!! I have been right where you are, obviously many times! I will pray for your renewed strength and patience. God will use this time for your growth and good fruits. His work in you is worth it!

  2. Gleniece September 2, 2013 at 11:09 am #

    I have been right there, too, Kayla. We live in an unfinished desert cabin and every day I wake up with a choice. Do I thank God for my life and the safety of my children and go forth with what He’s given me to do? Or do I look at the cramped space, the bare insulation, our bed on the livingroom floor and cry? I’ve had to ask myself What if it NEVER changes? Will I defile myself over physical stuff? Or will I still serve God with a smile?

    • Kayla Gulick September 2, 2013 at 11:37 am #

      I relate so much to that inner struggle and question!! You’re doing so awesome to choose Joy!! Praying for your situation!!!!

  3. peacefulwife September 3, 2013 at 6:19 am #

    Reblogged this on Peacefulwife's Blog and commented:
    LOVE this post from my friend, Kayla!!!

    • Nyillah September 3, 2013 at 4:16 pm #

      This post is great I can relate I use to think the same way god might hearing me because if my sinfull ways so that why he’s not responding to me fast.. But I’ve learn to be patient and trusting god with his work which I’m still in transitioning.. Sometime when god want bless the situation that you’re in tend to get harder and you stated questioning your faith.. I’m happy with the help of god, and shearing your experience has help me to become the woman that I’m today believing Christ

      • Kayla Gulick September 3, 2013 at 5:04 pm #

        Thanks for sharing your heart! I appreciate your experiences with patience 🙂

  4. annie sanyu September 4, 2013 at 3:58 am #

    this is a great post cos i remember when i was done with school and wanted to get a job but failed, but during that time that i was babysitting my niece and we bonded and i have a feeling this would not have happened if i had started working immediately after school, and one friend of mine during that time told me to patient and wait to get the job that God would provide and not just jump on any wagon. Thanks for this post.

    • Kayla Gulick September 4, 2013 at 6:36 am #

      That’s so true! There is always an opportunity for God’s purposes in front of us, even when we’re waiting for something else. Thanks for sharing!

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