I believe both are inappropriate.

3 Sep

Have you seen this picture floating around Facebook?


I’d like to suggest why I want to live in an America where BOTH are inappropriate and unacceptable in public.

Should we completely disagree on this issue — I hope that you’ll read this post in its entirety and see if you can at the very least understand my points and where I’m coming from.

*** Let me first state that I nursed all four of my children.  I know what it’s like to have to try to find a private place on demand and to feel grave disappointment to have to miss out of conversations because it’s time for the baby to nurse.

I agree TOTALLY that nursing in a public restroom is DISGUSTING and wrong!  I don’t even like using them quickly myself, let alone – sit in there for 20-30 minutes while trying to feed my child.  YUCK!!

I think all public places should be required by law to have a nursing mother’s room.  It doesn’t have to be huge.  It can have one couch and a lamp.  Just a private and clean place to sit and feed your child.

As far as missing out on social events – that’s tough.  It really is.  I remember sitting in different rooms and crying while I nursed because I was so lonely for adult interaction, and when I had the chance to experience it, I had to leave the room to feed the baby. (Unfortunately, my last two NEVER took a bottle so I had no other options!)

However, I feel it’s necessary to make a pretty bold but needed statement here.  The world doesn’t revolve around me (or you).  And it doesn’t revolve around our babies either.

We live and function as an entire human race – and we can all try to be entitled to everything we choose; but pretty soon, our entitlements start clashing with each other, and we can’t all have everything we want.

We live in an America where women say things like this:

How DARE you tell me that *I* have to leave a room to feed my child.  If you don’t like it… YOU leave the room.  Jerk.

May I make some suggestions as to why that is not an acceptable attitude?

1.) Married sex is totally natural.  It’s acceptable and appropriate for a husband and wife to see each other completely naked and to enjoy every part of intercourse.

Because it’s natural, should married couples have sex in public places?

I can even make it less “bold” if you will.

Urinating is completely natural and normal.  Should we put a toilet in the middle of every room and stop having a separate room for a restroom?

Just because something is natural and normal does NOT mean it should be done in public.

2.) Private parts are private parts.  Even if they are being used for a normal and natural function.  Just like with the ideas of sex and urinating … it is never acceptable to see a man’s penis in public.  Even if he’s using it for a healthy and good purpose.  So why is it OK to see a woman’s breast in public?

Private parts are called “private” because they should be seen in PRIVATE.  Spouses, infants and medical professionals are all acceptable people to see private parts.  Family members, friends and strangers do not fall into that category.

3.) Nursing covers are a help, but they are not a “good” solution.

I always appreciate when a woman at least uses a cover.  However, we know that men are visual and a thin cloth does very little to make them feel comfortable.

Many women who are pro-breast feeding in public, and confusingly still pro- modesty.  I personally think that’s hypocritical.  If you think wearing a short skirt leaves little to the imagination,  so does a thin cloth that still creates an obvious atmosphere for what is still taking place.

Like it or not, breasts are sexual. Even if you’re a mother.

A nursing cover doesn’t create an out of mind out of sight mindset.  It creates an obvious temptation for someone to be forced to avoid.

4.) Just because something doesn’t bother you – doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother someone else.  We don’t have the authority to tell others what bothers them and what they need to find acceptable.

We are taking away their freedoms and putting them in a prison of our own preferences.

Would anyone find it acceptable to force someone to watch a lion tear apart the flesh of a zebra while hearing it screech in pain?  It’s the circle of life.  It’s normal and natural.  It’s a beautiful thing. You’re an ignorant fool if you don’t enjoy this aggressive hunting nature.

The truth is, some people do find the circle of life a beautiful thing.  But others are mortified by the death of animals in any fashion.

It’s not possible for us to define lines of acceptable for other people.  And it’s not a Christ-like attitude to be so indignant about our own agenda that we name-call or shove others feelings off as offensive.  Christ desired us to watch our actions and beware that we don’t cause our brothers to stumble.  EVEN IF that means denying something for ourselves that we might otherwise have no problems with when we’re in their company.

If the nursing season is just a season – and we are to show love to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ…. why not use our private parts in private just to be safe?  It’s really nobodies business to watch a child nurse.  Even if it’s a wonderful thing to do (which it is) and it’s natural (which that can’t be denied) and it’s beautiful to some (which to most mother’s who nurse – it totally is!) – that doesn’t mean we are entitled to do it whenever and wherever we want to.

Practical Application –

Think about the implications it brings for every other normal and natural thing that should be kept in private to be allowed in public.

Take the challenge to view life as if it’s all about Christ and loving everyone, and not all about  me.

** Whenever I take a hard stand on something, I always welcome all points of view.  Please feel free to agree or disagree in the comments section as long as you can do so without name-calling or cruel intentions.  Make your points about the topic, not against the author or commenters.


5 Responses to “I believe both are inappropriate.”

  1. howsyourlovelife September 3, 2013 at 9:10 am #

    I like the parallels you draw of normal bodily functions that are inappropriate in public. Good point!

    • Kayla Gulick September 3, 2013 at 9:20 am #

      Thank you. I think it’s so easy for us to want to make exceptions to things in life.

  2. justme September 3, 2013 at 10:14 am #

    Thank you! It’s refreshing to read common sense in a world that seems to be “upside down”.

    • Kayla Gulick September 3, 2013 at 10:17 am #

      You’re welcome.

      Unfortunately, when our “normal” changes – so does “reality.” For most women, the breasts are completely non-sexual when they’re nursing…. so to the rest of the world they expect them to agree and understand that.

  3. Alex Teeters June 28, 2014 at 11:12 am #

    This is the most articulate thing I’ve read since I left grad school.

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