Should girls be allowed?

11 Sep

Our two oldest sons (in first and third grade) are playing flag football this fall for the first time.

Between the four grades involved, there are 8 teams.  And there is at least one girl on every team.

And to be honest, I’m a little dumbfounded by that thought.


As soon as my husband told me, I immediately had a million questions.

Are these the daughters of men who don’t have sons?

Why would you encourage your daughter to play a “future” contact sport with boys?

Is it safe?

Does it bother anyone?

How do the boys react toward the girls?

Doesn’t this blur the lines of masculinity and femininity for children and adults?

Are boys being allowed to play girls volleyball?

Have we taken this “girls are powerful and capable” mentality too far?


I suppose a girl running around trying to pull the flag of another girl or boy isn’t exactly dangerous or troublesome in and of itself, but I fear for the direction it takes us when trying to define Godly femininity and masculinity.

God distinctly created male and female to look differently as well as to complete different roles in life.  I fear that if women cross the lines too far to look like, dress like, talk like, behave like, and overtake leadership positions from men – not only will men be unable to fulfill their God-given purposes, but women will remain under the curse of the fall instead of gaining freedom from it in Christ.

Somewhere along the lines of embracing women’s rights, we flew leaps and bounds over the line from assuming women aren’t equally created with purpose by God to a new idea that women were created to have the exact equal purposes as men and even worse, do it better than them.

There is a vast difference between being equally important and being equally purposed.

I’d like to suggest that if women were meant to have male roles, who is meant to have female roles?  If everyone is designed to lead, provide and protect – WHO exactly are they leading, providing and protecting?  And if no one was designed to nurture, receive, and support – who is fulfilling these roles in humanity?

The fall of man resulted in a curse on women that resulted in us adopting the mindset that being feminine and succeeding at our God-given roles and purposes isn’t enough.  We want to conquer all the male roles too.  And sadly, the fall of man resulted in a curse on men that they are unsure they have what it takes to fulfill their God-given roles and purposes – so they are easily persuaded to step aside and let women take over.

This is not kindness, equality and forward thinking.  Sadly, it’s an abomination of God’s design and in marriage – a misrepresented display of the beauty of Christ to the Church.

Practical Application:

This is very hard to handle well.

I want my boys to understand this dilemma however, all the while knowing that they will have to make the choice to continue playing sports in this environment or choose not to play them at all.

As well as asking the tough questions.

FOR WOMEN: How do I feel about godly femininity?  Do I accept my God-given roles as a woman?  Do I embrace my purposes or do I rebel against them? Does me husband hold me accountable or allow me to dishonor the order of creation in our home? Do I give our daughters a good example to follow?

FOR MEN: As a man, do I lead my wife to understand and accept godly femininity?  Do I support her?  Do I give her someone to follow?  Do I represent the leadership roles well so they don’t go undone if she doesn’t step up?  Do I give my sons a good example to follow?


2 Responses to “Should girls be allowed?”

  1. Jenn September 11, 2013 at 10:07 am #

    Oh boy. John 15:18-19 comes to mind here. You feel the way you do because you are basing your life on the Bible and on Christ. The world does not do this… I came to you with a problem about a month ago with the choice of music they play at practice. Remember? Rap music blaring, bleeping out words for all of our youth to hear? 😦 Since then I have witnessed referees at games talk as if they were on an NFL playing field. Specifically, one was yelling across the field because he was mad the time clock wasn’t working and his words were, “get that sh** turned on!” Really? Six year old football game…
    A sixth grade cheer coach admitted that she said to her girls, “move your a**.” And she said to me, it’s not like they don’t hear those words in other places.
    And yes, to top it all off, we have girls playing on our football teams (not my son’s yet, and I’m thankful for that) but also to make it worse, we play tackle football. This brings to mind girls who wrestle too. Sigh.

    Point is, the best we can do is be a witness for Christ to the world. Does that mean it’s wrong to take part in activities that we don’t agree with certain parts of? No, I don’t think it’s wrong. As with anything, you must weigh the pro’s and con’s of each situation. Are your boys learning life skills of teamwork, self-direction, victory, defeat, having a humble heart, sportsmanship, etc? Yes, they are. This, in my opinion, is worth it. You know, Kayla, that I struggle with this too, so I understand you.

    What matters to your boys is if they are uncomfortable with the situation because they fully understand that yes, it is wrong for some of these actions to occur, and if they don’t want to pursue it, then the con’s outweigh the pro’s. If they have an understanding of “we are not of this world” and many situations will arise that are not acceptable and they can comfortably confront those situations, then the pro’s outweigh the con’s.

    It’s a toss up. And I’m certainly not in a place of judgment because I feel we are dealing with the same situation here and we continue to let Cameron play. He has asked me, why can’t Kate play football when she gets older? That one girl on the 4th grade team does. I answer him by saying, just because she plays, doesn’t make it right. Your sister will not play because it is a sport for boys.

    Goodluck to you! You sure are being tested and you know it’s all for Him, so take it head on!

    • Kayla Gulick September 11, 2013 at 11:39 am #

      Great points Jenn!

      Oh man – I’d struggle with that language being used at the games too. Through all of baseball season, I don’t remember hearing any curse words shouted. Not to say they weren’t said in the dugouts, but at least we weren’t experiencing a lot of that at this age…. yet.

      I agree with the pros and cons and will be talking with my husband and boys more about this tonight over supper. Lots of teaching moments lately for sure!!!!!!!!

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