The break I never wanted to end…

2 Jan

Oh my goodness! I haven’t blogged in 13 days. I had the most amazing break! I thought about writing a number of times, but my thoughts wouldn’t come together all the way.

My husband was home for two weeks. Today is his first day back to work actually and it’s given me a chance to reflect a little more on this break I had.

First of all, I loved every minute of having him home for two weeks.  I shared with him last night that I had anxiety about him having that long of a break.  In the past, it hasn’t been wonderful for us to have that much time together.  I’ve often felt angry toward him and annoyed at the same time.

My dad is a bit of a workaholic. It’s very drilled in my mind to work most hours of the day every day.  I am not opposed to taking breaks, but then you get right back at it and get things done.

My husband is much more of a “when I’m on vacation from work, I want to relax” type of guy.

So, in the past, he’d be home and I’d be expecting him to get a bunch of projects done, and he’d be expecting me to let him take a few naps and lay around watching television.

That just led to me resenting his vacation time.  I remember very vividly one time when he was home yelling at him about when was *I* going to get a vacation???  He works 40 hours a week, and every weekend and every vacation he gets to do nothing… but I still have to cook three meals a day, do dishes three times a day and laundry and cleaning and kids baths and on & on & on.

Because of the incredible growth in our marriage, this break wasn’t like that at all.  In two weeks time, he worked on a few projects around the house that needed done and I curled up and took naps with him.  We both cleaned up the house and dishes and helped the kids when they needed us.  We played games and watched television with the kids and also just alone after they were in bed. We went on a date and enjoyed hosting friends at our house for New Years Eve.  We spent lots of time laughing, cuddling, and talking.

As a bit of a side note, I haven’t slept well since the time I started having kids 8-9 years ago. Between pregnancy, crying babies, and my constant anxiety…. I just sleep lousy at night. And no matter what day it is, I’m up no later than 6:00 AM because I can’t toss and turn anymore.

But something wonderful happened in the last two weeks.  I slept every night.  I slept in every morning (Like even til 9:00 AM!!) And I felt rested and relaxed.

I was afraid of the last two weeks before they happened, and now, it ended up being the best two weeks EVER! And I realized, I love my husband so much.  Every part of him.  The parts that are different from me AND different from the way I use to demand that they be.  I enjoy every chance I get to be with him.  I feel safe with him.  I can be honest with him.  I feel relaxed and comfortable in his arms.  He makes me laugh.  He is sweet enough to make me cry daily. And he’s strong enough to take my emotions and mood swings when my hormones or feelings get the best of me.  He knows what to say and what not to say to help me quickly get it back together. He serves me in so many ways I never paid attention to before and in ways that really help me now.

My point? I wouldn’t trade the respect journey I started in August of 2012 for anything! I have changed so much.  And this year, he changed so much.  And I couldn’t be more excited to be married to this man than I am now. More than once this break we said we love our kids, but we’re so ready for life when it’s just the two of us, so we can focus on each other even more.

I never believed my marriage would ever look like that.  Maybe you’re struggling today to believe yours ever could either. I’ve been there.  I’d encourage you to read this… where I started.

Practical Application:

It has to start with you.  He/She won’t change by your desire or brow beating.  When you change and focus on your command to respect unconditionally (even the man who doesn’t deserve it) or love unconditionally (even the wife that doesn’t deserve it) you’ll see the change you always tried to force with your words or actions.  Not because they have to — but because they want to.

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8 Responses to “The break I never wanted to end…”

  1. katieislivingforJesus January 2, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

    So encouraged to hear this and so happy for you! 🙂

    • Kayla Gulick January 2, 2014 at 1:34 pm #

      Thank you! And I’m so glad you’re encouraged! God’s Way truly does produce the fruit our hearts desire!!

  2. RaZella January 2, 2014 at 6:56 pm #

    What a beautiful and wonderful testimony. Our God is so good!!!! LOVE THIS!!!!!!

  3. Em January 3, 2014 at 1:38 am #

    Wow! Am so challenged.

  4. peacefulwife January 3, 2014 at 4:29 pm #

    Kayla,
    I know it was a tough road getting to this place, but it was Obviously SOOOOO worth it! Thank you for documenting your journey and blessing so many other women as you have been growing. You are a treasure to me! I am not surprised at all at what God has done. :). He is SO VERY GOOD! I love getting to see the painful beginning and then later the beautiful pay off in marriages! This just never, ever gets old!

    Much love to you, my precious friend!

    • Kayla Gulick January 3, 2014 at 4:43 pm #

      Thanks April!!

      I never imagined we’d be where we are. My desire to share with women is greater than ever. It’s so hard to listen to success stories and feel like your own story will never end like that…

      But my marriage has transformed into something so beautiful I can’t even believe it!

      Thank you so much for your ministry!!!

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