3 Jan

So, I’m sorry to get so mushy, gushy on you yesterday.  Thank you everyone for not unsubscribing.  I’m a little smitten lately and I’m bouncing around like a love struck twelve-year-old. I promise… no lovey – dovey post today.

I’ve had some time to reflect on the past and what it means to be entering 2014.  Does that look weird to anyone else?  Shouldn’t it still be like 1999?  Anyone? Anyway…

And in true cliché fashion… here are 14 things I need to work on/ change for 2014.

1.) My prayer life.  The next time I’m at the store, I need to pick up a prayer journal.  I recently ran across some old ones and I remembered, my prayer life was so much more intentional and genuine when I took the time to write them out.  I’m very good at offering up quick prayers, and praying with the kids in the car on the way to school (both good things) but the real heartfelt confessions, prayers for others, and seeking the Lord’s guidance-  has been sorely lacking and missing.

2.) Quality time with my children.  If you think you’re not a selfish person, have some kids.  In fact, have four.  I lose the drive to do anything with any of them because I’m going to have to do something with all of them and frankly, I rarely have the patience.

The fruit of the spirit – love, joy, peace, PATIENCE…. yeah, about that.  Why I am not getting this?  Selfishness.

3.) I suppose that means I better work on selfishness.  I can’t be patient with others, including my kids because I’m too concerned with myself.  What I’d rather be doing, what I feel – what I like – what it’ll cost me – what I have to give up. ME, ME, ME.

4.) Fasting.  I started out last year with my first ever 21 day fast and it was so good.  We saw some truly incredible fruit from the Lord and I was so encouraged. I mean things we’d been praying over for 10 years, and God just busted walls down and made things happen like I’d never seen before.  It blew my mind!!  I kept fasting once a week for a long time… until, I stopped.  And I never started back up.

I’m gearing up for another 21 day fast.  You want to join me?  Let me know and we’ll encourage and pray for each other through email.

The best way to cure selfishness — fast.  If I want to learn to be selfless, it’s time to deny myself and elevate Christ — and fasting does that instantly.

5.) Serve my family more.  I  spend a lot of time serving my family by keeping the house running.  But to really serve each member individually – well, I don’t do it.  But I want to.  I want to learn each of my children’s love languages, and build them up more.  I don’t want to co-exist with them and discipline them for 18 years.  I want to love them and build a lasting relationship with them.  I need to study them and serve them in ways that speak right to their heart. Because they matter to me. I love them.  My husband too.

6.) Laugh more.  Life is serious.  Death comes quickly.  And eternity is permanent.  But life is beautiful, precious, and a gift — it’s not meant to be lived in a state of constant worry/stress, depression or bitterness.  It’s meant to be enjoyable and fulfilling.  We need to laugh and joke and smile so much more than we do.

7.) Trust and submit to my husband.  I learned last year (as you read from my sappy love saga yesterday) that God’s way works, it’s wonderful and perfect.  But if I for one second think I have this stuff mastered, let my guard down, or stop praying for God’s constant help — I’ll fall right back into a worldly way of living out my marriage.  It’s easy for natural human tendencies and ideals of the world to creep in quickly.  But I know my husband was given the headship of this family by God Himself and He will not fail us, forsake us, or leave us when we follow Him.  My husband is amazing, and he’s an incredible leader.  I trust him.  But I will never stop making this a constant priority.

8.) Protect my eyes and ears better.  I’ve noticed that we’re spending more time with non-Christians and the language and conversation topics can turn unholy quickly.  Instead of listening, or trying to participate still in some way… I need to remove myself.  I spent many years speaking unholy, and if I know anything to be true for me – it’s what goes in is most likely to come back out.  I don’t need to be picking up any accidental temptations or habits.  I need to give myself the freedom to walk away.

9.) Touch more.  More hugs – More kisses – more holding hands – more running my fingers through my husband and my children’s hair.  Physical touch is so important.  And I’m convinced that a lack of physical touch can lead to earlier sexual experiences for the hope of being held and wanted.

10.) Spend less time on the internet.  I have no idea why the darn thing is so addicting anyway?  What really am I searching for? What need is it meeting?  Why is it appealing to check Facebook and check it again five minutes later… like some life altering thing might have happened in that five minutes I might have missed.  And really… why am I bored?  Sounds like I have too much idle time… and we know what scripture says about women with idle time…. yep – let’s clean that up this year.

11.) Talk less.  Oh boy… confession time.  I *can be* the type of person who is planning what I’m going to say while you’re still talking. I mean, we all have to do that a little…. or else conversations would have a LOT of dead air time and wouldn’t flow very well.  But, I shouldn’t be so busy preparing what to say that I really don’t listen well.  Besides, without my interjection… people might have more to say.  And more that I should hear.  I’ve been working on this for  few years, but I have more work to do.  I actually hate the sound of my own voice – just hearing my own voicemail is awkward, and yet… I talk like other people love the sound of my voice.  Hmm…..

12.) Continue to grow in mercy.  Again as with # 7, I’m a fool if I think I have this mastered, especially on my own.  I know without the Holy Spirit, I couldn’t know or show mercy at all.  But everyone in this world is being judged by someone, it’s a good idea to understand, we are not the judge.  God is the judge.  It’s our job to love God and love others.  It’s pretty hard to love someone you’re judging.  But it’s really easy to love someone you’re merciful toward.  Keep choosing mercy, and leave the judging to the Judge.

13.) **If you’re under 18 or unmarried, SKIP THIS ONE!!**  Have even more sex – Better sex, longer sex, take your time, give back rubs, and TALK, TALK, TALK about EVERYTHING in the bedroom. Why?  Because NOTHING, and I do mean NOTHING binds a married couple better than sex. If you’re going to be with one person the rest of your life and you want that marriage to be intimate, fulfilling and rewarding — make your sex life the best sex life of any couple to ever exist.  And talk about intimate and non-intimate things before or after sex while you’re naked and cuddling.  It’s easier to discuss, and it’s much more vulnerable and intimate and gives you that ability to drop walls and male/female hang ups.  If you want to be married to your best friend – this is the one thing you give each other that you give no one else… do it often, do it well, and add more dynamics than you had in 2013.

14.) Last but not least…. stop waiting to have enough money to (fill in the blank with….) Give / Go on dates / Fix a need — (I would never advice being a poor steward) however — God provides for His children.  Don’t stop giving to His people, cultivating your marriage, or refusing to fix needs for fear that God won’t be faithful to provide.  God is good for His word.  Don’t wait to trust your bank account instead of Him.

Practical Application —

I’ve got other things to work on too… but these are what I’m focusing on this year.  It’ll be tough, and I won’t be flawless.  But my goals are set.

What about you?


10 Responses to “Resolve.”

  1. respectthyhusband January 3, 2014 at 5:01 pm #

    I’d love to join you on the 21 day fast.. I’ve never truly fasted, and it sad to say. I’ve been on the Peacefulwife journey for almost a year now (Jan.23rd). I’ve been Blessed abundantly by The Lord. But I want Be full of His Peace, Love, and Joy, but I am still battling self ! I always tell myself, your not selfish. But after reading your Blog, it revealed that I truly am. Please Tell me what I need to humble myself to The Lord and so my dedication to obey his commandments by fasting.

    Love in Christ,

    Brandy Gambill


    • Kayla Gulick January 3, 2014 at 5:54 pm #

      Don’t be too hard on yourself — no one is exempt to selfishness. We are struggle in this area. But we can pray or each other and hold each other accountable and God will help us grow!

      I’m going to start my 21 day fast on Monday January 6th.

      Last year, I gave up all beverages except for water and also all desserts/candies/sweets/and sugar in the form of a sweet. (No candy, cookies, cakes, applesauce, anything used as a sweet treat or dessert.)

      I may do something similar this year because it was a huge challenge for me to give all that up for 21 days.

      However, I might try something different. I’m still thinking over that this weekend.

      You can give up whatever you want, but I would strongly suggest it be something you enjoy daily, maybe even multiple times a day.

      And then, whenever that craving comes or the time of the day when you usually endulge in those items comes… I would pray over the things I was fasting over.

      Last year I was fasting over “My marriage, Our House, Our Church Home, and My husband’s family.”
      And I’m so thankful to God, I saw HUGE changes in ALL of these areas this year. Not necessarily during that 21 days, but over the course of the year.

      I can’t promise that God will move in the way you “hope” but He will move. He’ll hear your request, see your heart, and He will reward your worship.

      I’m so glad you’re going on this journey with me!!!

      • Jenn Twilley January 3, 2014 at 6:06 pm #

        My church does a fast for the first 21 days in January, too! We don’t do food, but rather something that has become a distraction. I’m doing Facebook this year, and I think it’s going to kill me. Love this, and love what you write. P.S. Don’t worry about being mushy-gushy. My Hubs and I are mushy-gushy, and we people around us sick 🙂

      • Kayla Gulick January 3, 2014 at 6:09 pm #

        Facebook is a GREAT fasting item!!!! Good Luck to you Jenn! I’ll pray for you. Thanks so much for reading along and commenting. And congratulations on making people sick…. you got the right stuff then girl 🙂

      • respectthyhusband January 3, 2014 at 6:56 pm #

        Being Mushy Gushy is a good thing 🙂 ! My husband and I are the same way. The Facebook thing is a toughie, I gave it up about 2 years ago. But I’m not wrapped up in what everyone else is doing, instead of spending time with my family. You’ll do Great, my prayers are with you Mrs. Twilley !

      • respectthyhusband January 3, 2014 at 6:52 pm #

        Mine would definitely be sweets ! I have had a horrible sweet tooth all my life. I want a sweet many times throughout the day, so sweets will be a good thing for me to fast. Thank you for your insight. May The Lord Bless you Abundantly this year and many years to come. I’m with you on Jan.6th !

  2. solyloraphotography January 3, 2014 at 10:26 pm #

    Your blog is such a Blessing!!! God bless you!!! You’re such an inspiration. I’m joining your sugar fast, this will be my first fasting. I always thought it was mainly food that was fasted. I have such a sweet tooth, it will be a challenge indeed. Now some things have sugar in them (ketchup etc…) do I fast everything I know has sugar or obvious items?

    • Kayla Gulick January 4, 2014 at 8:50 am #

      YAY Soly!!!!!! I am so excited to have you on board with us for the 21 day fast! There is no “wrong” way to fast. Any time we’re denying ourselves something in order to worship the Lord with our bodies and minds, we honor the Lord.

      When I personally fasted sugar, I did not read every package and if the word sugar was there – put it down. I know one time I still ate a peanut butter and jelly and jelly obviously has sugar in it. What I did was fast anything with sugar that I used as a typical “sweet tooth” craving or as a dessert. I didn’t finish any meals with a sugar based item or snack on candies, cookies, etc in between meals.

      I would pick the things with sugar that are the greatest sugars you like to indulge in and give those up during your fast. Hope this helps get you prepared!!!

  3. Ems January 6, 2014 at 9:52 am #

    Will be joining the fast all the way from Africa – deactivated my Facebook account today.

    • Kayla Gulick January 6, 2014 at 11:32 am #

      God Bless!! So happy to have you along with us! Praying for you friend.

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