I know it’s happening, but I don’t see it.

6 Jan

I’m pretty sure this next statement will not be a shock to anyone.  Men are visual.

However, men are not simply “sexually visual” as many assume. They tend to be interested, excited and even taught by visual images concerning every topic in life.  That’s partly why television is even more popular among males than females.

My husband put it well for me the other day by saying, “Think about Jayden (our oldest son, going on 9 years old) when he’s watching football, he is really interested in the game and loves it, but it isn’t long before he jumps up and starts ‘playing’ the game instead of simply sitting and watching.  He is stimulated to get up and play instead of just watch.”

That helps me understand my husband and my boys – SO MUCH BETTER!

However, I’m having a hard time explaining myself and how my mind works (or rather, doesn’t work) visually and I’m posting here to see if anyone out there understands what I’m about to say… or if I am the one person in the world who is, well, like me.

I thought it was a male/female thing, but a couple of years ago, two of my girlfriends told me they were much more like my husband in this than they are like me… so let me do a little explaining.

My mind is not extremely visual, but I have a very vivid memory.

If I would say the name of someone you know well, but they are not in the same room as you, do you immediately picture them in your mind?  Can you not remember what they look like at all?  Or do you remember exactly what they look like, but you don’t see a vivid image of them?

I’m the third option.  I can describe in detail what someone looks like, however, I don’t “see” a picture in my mind.  I remember, but I don’t see images.

The same goes for scenarios that could happen.

My husband and I were talking about things that *might* happen, and he can picture the event unfolding, even if he’s never seen it happen before.

I, on the other hand, imagine what’s happening and zoom in on my emotions about the events and how I would handle things.  I don’t see it happening in my mind, but I can describe a situation and my feelings about it.

Let me give you an example.  “You’re at a baseball game, and your spouse hits a home run.”

Do you see it happening? Are you unable to even fathom something that hasn’t happened?  Or do you understand what would happen, but not visually see it unfold?

The odd thing is, when I dream at night, I can see things.  But I don’t always have to see everything to know what is going on.  For example, I can know I was with someone somewhere, but not actually remember seeing their face.

That really messes with my husband’s head.  It kind of messes with my own head. But that’s how it works.

I am so much more emotionally driven than visually driven.

When I hear something, I will immediately imagine how it makes me feel, or would make me feel if it’s not about me or isn’t actually happening — and then I’ll react to those emotions.

My husband on the other hand, will immediately envision the situation and how it played out or could/would play out if it’s hypothetical.  That doesn’t mean he can’t have emotions, but he’ll picture it first.

It won’t even cross my mind to picture it, because I can’t anyway.

Do you relate to this?  Are you more like my husband or more like me? Are you visually or emotionally driven? Does this help you understand your spouse better? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!



2 Responses to “I know it’s happening, but I don’t see it.”

  1. peacefulwife January 29, 2014 at 7:36 pm #

    Hmm… This is fascinating! I can picture things and have a constant stream of running narrative about it.

    • Kayla Gulick January 29, 2014 at 8:14 pm #

      I think I’m a little crazy… HAHA! I can imagine things with vivid detail, but I don’t “see” it happening??? Josh described it like watching a movie. Maybe that’s just too descriptive of a way to describe it for me.

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