Life or Death

9 Apr

I saw this picture I’m about to share awhile ago and I haven’t been able to get it off my mind.

You know the old saying “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Yeah, so we all know that’s not true. No need for a post explaining that.

Words can kill

However, hurt… and kill….. are those the same?

I remember a long time ago, someone said something to me and it wasn’t just a wound.  It killed me. Literally, a part of myself became dead and destroyed.

I don’t want to post what it was, because I’m sure the person remembers saying it, and well, I learned awhile ago when I almost quit blogging for good that personal stories that include other people can really be hurtful if not explained well, and I made a promise to avoid those situations in the future, because I never know who will read this one day.

At any rate, I’ve forgiven (after a LOT of years of bitterness and angst.) But… it’s definitely something I just can’t forget.

It took a lot for Jesus to revive that part of me again.  And honestly, I still protect it like it’s the most fragile part of me.

This got me thinking….

I’ve murdered a lot of people with my words

One of my biggest struggles is that when I’m hurt, I am tempted to become a loose, reckless cannon. (I am getting better.  I won’t claim victory.)

In those times, I might as well have put a shot-gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger.  Because I know I murdered others with what I said.

I remember so specifically something I said to my husband.  And I wish more than anything I could take it back. This was a LONG, LONG time ago…. but I said

“You disgust me.  I feel so bad for our boys.  I wish you weren’t their father.”

Ugh.  I start crying every time I remember that.  How could I? What was I thinking?

For the record, I don’t mean that! I didn’t then either.  My husband is an AMAZING Father!!

I just was so careless with what I would let fly out of my mouth.  I wanted him to hurt as bad as I felt like I was hurting.

Some words hurt others… some kill.

Practical Application:

If our tongues have the power to give life or death… how many dead people are in my life?

Have I given life to any enemies lately?

* I have some life-giving words to give …. more to come on that.

~~~~

On an unrelated note… sorry for being a little MIA!  I know I’ve been a little slow replying to emails, and getting new posts up!  It’s because I decided to start up a new business.

I *want* to write a huge post about it, but I know you all aren’t coming here to read about that.

BUT — just incase you might be interested at all… you can like my Facebook page here!

If you like the page, you’ll automatically be entered in a giveaway for a free product when I hit 75 page likes.

I was so skeptical of this company for over a year.  I didn’t want to risk wasting my money, however, my friend started selling and I won a couple of items for FREE, and then I fell in love.

I don’t like chemicals, but in an effort to go “more green” I tried cleaning my house with baking soda and vinegar, and it didn’t work AND my house smelled like vinegar.  So I went back to the chemicals.  Until, I found Norwex!

I’m seriously BLOWN AWAY!!!

Ok, Ok… I won’t say any more unless you contact me on facebook and want to know what all the fuss is about and how it works.

One last thing, I can do parties over the internet now without having to be in home… and it makes it possible for ANYONE to host a party with me.

The rewards are insane! I had a small party, and I got EIGHT free gifts for hosting.  Yes, EIGHT!  Totally worth it.  Easy, peasy.  And I got to try everything without risking a single penny of my own.

You’d be my hero if you decided to host an online Facebook party for me! Seriously, I’d love you forever!!!

Ok, I’m done… for real this time 🙂

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6 Responses to “Life or Death”

  1. Sarah Fowler April 10, 2014 at 9:31 am #

    Good Morning, I am so glad I found your blog some months back. I can relate to you so much. I feel a couple of your last few entries spoke to me so much. This is probably going to be long, sorry. My name is Sarah ,mom to 6 wife to a wonderful husband. We have been together for 24 yrs in May. I am having a super hard time in life right now. My husband Garry decided it was time to move back to Nh after living in Northern Maine for the last ten yrs. I agreed but in the time of him finding a job down here,housing I went back and forth with that choice, well we are here and truthfully I resent him every single day for it:( I do not like it here for many many reason.We have 2 yr old twins and thats hard, I feel so lonely. I have no friends, back home I had friends and a routine,people to talk to,go to to help me a little. Here I have family,mostly his family but they are not healthy influences nor do they seem to care,genuinely. Our older 2,22 yr old Brianna and 21 yr old Garry they lived with us for a short time. Now one is a hr away and G is 3hrs away. I miss them terribly. My morning routine is not easy,my son J and daughter Em have 2 different school start times. I have to drive them.Back home they got the bus. Our home we had in Maine is in foreclosure. We now live in a side by side duplex. I hate it!! My dream was to have my home,a safe place like my grandmothrrs home was to me, for our family. That is gone.:( I feel like we are going backwards and I resent my husband terribly for all this. I drive the kids to school in the morning,we moved from a small town of 6,500. To a small city of 20,000 or so. I drive by not so nice places every day and think,is this really my life now….. sometimes I cry after dropping my daughter off driving back home with the twins. I really need to know what to do. I too have a loose cannon for a mouth when angry and my poor husband knows he is the reason I am so unhappy.:( He has nicely said” it’s the past” and not so nicely said “Get Over it!!!” Recently he said I am satan after a rageful fit.:( That hurt but I was mean and said nasty things. Sometimes I just want to leave walk away. Im so sad of all this and my actions. I just dont know were to turn,how to stop the resentment,how to know all I dreamed of for our family is gone. I am really sorry this is soo long I just wanted to explain why I am feeling this way. I know nothing justifies the way I treat my hubby,he had stuck by me through so much. I just dont know how to not be angry with him,when it seems nothing has changed for him,he goes to work just like he use too. I am home and missing the simplicity of our small town life. Where can I start to stop acting like this. I feel like im killing my hubby all to make it known my feeling. I really afraid my marriage could be in jeopardy if I dont change,but I wish I could just go back 2 yrs ago and not agreed to move.

    • Kayla Gulick April 10, 2014 at 10:19 am #

      Hey Sarah!

      Glad to have you here. Thank so much for being so vulnerable and sharing everything with me. I really appreciate your raw honesty and genuine heart to get things right.

      This is some big stuff you’ve laid out here.

      Let me start by asking you a couple of questions.

      Do you believe the Bible calls the man to be the head of the house?

      Do you believe the Bible calls a wife to unconditional respect?

      Once we can establish a start point… we can tackle some of these issues.

      I also have the perfect person in mind who has a REALLY similar story to what you just described here and I think she would be a great friend for you right now to lean on too.

      I’ll check with her if she’s up for emailing 🙂

      • Sarah April 10, 2014 at 12:16 pm #

        Thanks so much for responding. Yes, I do believe that,I just have a hard time doing that:(. I would love to talk with her, it’s nice to have someone really truely understand the way you are feeling. 🙂

      • Kayla Gulick April 10, 2014 at 12:31 pm #

        Ok Sarah – – I have a message in to her.

        This is what I’ll say for now, and if you want to chat more privately you can email me gulickfamily@hotmail.com and I’ll also put you in touch with her if she’s available right now for some email conversations. I know she’d be a huge help!

        I think you’re heart-broken because you don’t trust that God can work all things together for good. It doesn’t “feel” good right now… so you’re trusting that uncertainty, unfamiliarity, lonliness, doubt and frustration instead of trusting that God can lead you through your husband’s decision and it could be for His glory, and your good (in the long run).

        I don’t want to get “preachy”. It’s ALWAYS easier for someone to say “you should just do this…” and then expect you to jump up and get busy.

        I know life isn’t like that. And it isn’t easy to sort out all those negative feelings and realign them in truth.. and then walk in that truth, and stay there even in the storms.

        If you’ve been reading for long… you know how I feel about the word “easy.”

        Anyway, if you want to tackle some of this a little less publicly, shoot me an email and we’ll go from there!

  2. Sarah April 10, 2014 at 12:41 pm #

    Yes, I will email. I thought I was emailing you. Lol I kept going back to my email checking for a response. Then I came back to this post and saw it all there. oops! 🙂

    • Kayla Gulick April 10, 2014 at 12:44 pm #

      HAHAH!! No worries. I bet my readers are all thankful you posted it there. It really helps them feel like someone else gets it too! Trust me… you aren’t the only one who feels this way or is walking a similar road!!

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