Sarcasm – friend or foe?

4 Jul

Testing, Testing?!?!
Is this thing on?

Wow friends…. if any of you are left.  I haven’t wrote anything in like 6-7 weeks.  I’m sorry to my faithful readers.  I’ve been so busy. 

And….

the whole truth is that I’ve struggled to have anything to write about.

It’s been a hard season for us.  And sometimes, it takes everything you’ve got just to bear through it… and I literally felt like it’d take too much energy to write a single word.  I didn’t need any reason to think more about the things I was going through by writing about them.

Normally I’m all for sharing your heart in the heat of the battle instead of just when it’s all over as a nice, pretty testimony…. but I couldn’t speak.

So here… today…. this will be short and sweet but I wanted to let you all know – I’m here! I’m not sure how often I’ll be writing right now, but I am still alive 🙂

I read an article the other day that, dare I say this….?  Pissed me off.

Sorry, but to say, made me a little angry doesn’t nearly do it justice.

I’m so sick and tired of people making their cases and arguments for something based on the cruelty of sarcasm.

Speak about facts.

Speak about feelings.

Speak about gender differences.

Speak about hardships.

Speak about personality conflicts.

But for crying out loud, do it in a manner that honors our fellow human race.

I don’t care how strongly you disagree with someone, they are still created in the image of God and whether they are trapped in sin, or walking as a beloved child of the promise…. they have feelings, struggles, beliefs, temptations, and ideas that they carry as a weight on their back just like the rest of us.

So, because we feel differently, or don’t struggle with something— we’re called to mock the other person?

How dare us.

That disgusts me.

If I have to go to one more women’s event where they trash talk their husbands, I might never hang out with crowds of women again.

Does degrading men for their faults or difference behind their backs build up our marriages and help us bare through the tough stuff?

Or might it just fuel our pride that we’re right, they are wrong and they are stupid, grown children that we have to mother along with our other children at home?

Because THAT is what sarcasm does.

Sarcasm doesn’t prove any points.  EVER.

The purpose of sarcasm is to belittle someone else with tongue in cheek humor that gives us a rush of pride…. “HAHAHA, we’re so right and that stupid, ignorant other group of people is pathetically wrong… idiots.”

Sarcasm does three things:

1.) Shows animosity for others’ feelings and beliefs while puffing up our pride
2.) Causes division and hurt
3.) Fuels the flames of an argument or debate

Those who love their neighbors speak with gentleness and self control.  They respect others’ feelings and treat them with kindness and love.  Even when they disagree they promote peace and work to restore joy.  They cloth themselves in patience and goodness always trying to make decisions that put other’s above themselves, instead of trampling someone beneath sarcastic remarks elevating their own feelings or beliefs instead.

See the trend? They have all 9 fruits of the spirit in their life and they utilize them through the power of the Holy Spirit working inside them.

Sarcasm is not a fruit of the spirit. No one will ever be won to another side, especially in the name of Christ, with sarcasm.

So why use it?

If our goal is to hurt someone else and puff your chest with pride at how we’re so much better than the other person or group… then by all means, keep right on being sarcastic.

But if we love our husband, kids, family, church, or even just HUMAN KIND

ditch the sarcasm.

Win them with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control bearing with them in all things.  And putting off things that might make them stumble, while raising them up above our own feelings.

Practical application:

1. Stop being sarcastic.

2. Start using the fruits of the spirit as my basis for arguments, disagreements and personality conflicts.

3. Treat others as greater than myself.  “For the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve.”

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10 Responses to “Sarcasm – friend or foe?”

  1. howsyourlovelife July 4, 2014 at 8:55 am #

    Welcome back!

  2. Elizabeth July 4, 2014 at 10:37 am #

    Kayla,
    What a great post! My husband has a terrific sense of humor, and he uses sarcasm very effectively in that context to make others smile, but when it occasionally spills over into a disagreement, that really hurts. I agree that it does nothing to promote peace and does fuel the fire. He took this to heart when I told him how bad it made me feel and things are MUCH better now. We discuss the ISSUE at hand without making the other person feel stupid and small.

    As for long stretches of not writing, I SO understand! For creative energy to flow, we need time and inner space, but often, raising children and other daily pursuits drain us of that time and energy and occupy our inner space. I think we need to honor the timing of things and rest content in the knowledge that when the time is right, we will write! Best wishes, and may you have peace, knowing this time in your life is only a season that will soon pass.

    • Kayla Gulick July 5, 2014 at 8:09 am #

      Good for you for being honest with your husband in a sensitive area that defines him. And what a great man to hear your heart and work on that! Praise God for incredible communication!!

  3. Catherine July 4, 2014 at 10:46 am #

    Don’t ever apologize for not writing soon enough or often enough, or anything else! We all completely understand! That’s like me saying, “I’m sorry I haven’t had time to read your posts!” I’ll take your little nuggets of gold whenever you can get to them! Thank you for sharing your life so we can better our own.

    • Kayla Gulick July 5, 2014 at 8:07 am #

      Awww… thanks Catherine! Just the support I needed after such a long break. I really appreciate you taking the time to encourage me!!

  4. trixie1466 July 4, 2014 at 11:54 am #

    Kayla, I really agree with you there. I’m not sure what your read recently, but yesterday I read a couple posts in a Christian women’s blog that was so sarcastic and disdainful of other women that I was shocked it was written by a Christian woman. Very sad that we treat each other so badly

    • Kayla Gulick July 5, 2014 at 8:07 am #

      I agree Trixie. I am not saying I am right for thinking this – but I immediately question someone’s relationship with the Lord if they make sarcastic arguments.

      Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone uses a hint (or more) of sarcasm here or there in the context of a marriage or small group of friends about humorous situations….

      but to me… that’s totally different than attacking a person, belief or stance with sarcasm and belittlement.

  5. Elisha July 4, 2014 at 12:18 pm #

    Happy to see you writing again 🙂

    • Kayla Gulick July 5, 2014 at 8:05 am #

      Thank you! I’ve been trying to catch up on your blog every couple of week ❤ Always thinking of you!!

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