Running on Empty

23 Dec

I feel like this topic is going to hit home for many tonight.

Whether you’re single, divorced, separated, or married — you might still be empty, sad, lonely, unfulfilled, or unsatisfied.

You might feel like your love tank is empty.  Maybe you are even depressed and bitter.

It’s times like these when most Christian Authors will encourage you with what I like to call “the hard truth.”  The stuff we all know “is” true and what we “should” be doing…. but it seems like they leave out the “how” or even just ignore the fact that we’re real life humans and sometimes it’s more messy than that.

Here’s the hard truth — the end of loneliness, true fulfillment, complete satisfaction, and unshakeable joy all come from the Lord and can’t be exchanged for any other thing, or man (or woman).

The only thing we can do is press into the Lord and meditate on His promises, despite our human feelings or understanding.

This is all great stuff.  Like I said, It’s true and wise.

I’ll be honest…. that can feel shallow (even though it’s profoundly deep) when you’re broken and you want someone in human flesh to rescue you from the pain you’re feeling.

To be pursued (even after years of marriage), to be studied, to be the light in someone’s eyes, to be known, to be loved, to be hugged, to be poured into, to be desired, to be ENOUGH for someone — just like we are for The Father up above is such a heavy emotion.

Especially when we know that Godly marriage promises that —- WHEN and IF two human sinners can die to themselves daily and let a perfect God work in and through them to help them be selfless and blameless.

That IF is BIG, ya know?!

We as humans, even Christian humans, are not always willing to die to our desires.  Or give what it would truly take.  Or care more about someone else than we do ourselves. Or choose to be faithful to our word and promises even though the tempting world flashes what seems like greener grass in front of our eyes.

What then?

I could list a bunch of things to try… (like being intentional to pour into another friend or your spouse, actively replace negative thoughts with God’s truths, pray and get into your Bible so God can fill you up each day, be respectfully vocal about how you’re feeling and what you may need)

But sometimes you can do everything right, and things still just don’t work out with a happy “earthly” ending. We can’t make others do things, nor can we always understand God’s timing.

The only real practical application I can suggest is to sit and spend some time really thinking about what you believe about Heaven.  Is there really a God and Heaven?  If so, do I truly have my faith in Him that His promises are true?  Am I living my life and reacting as if this is all there is and my feelings in any given moment are a true matter of life or death? If we are really only temporarily living here with the end goal of Heaven, what can I refocus on to ease my own inward pain?

Will any of those question bring immediate relief? No. But that’s the point really. This life is about our holiness, not our happiness. Have we lost site of that? While looking at everyone else’s “happy” life?

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3 Responses to “Running on Empty”

  1. howsyourlovelife December 24, 2014 at 1:50 pm #

    Merry Christmas!

  2. blesseddaughterofaking December 24, 2014 at 5:15 pm #

    Thanks for your honesty! Sending you big hugs! And praying that you and your family have a blessed Christmas and 2015! 🙂

  3. Elizabeth December 26, 2014 at 10:35 am #

    Kayla,

    Yes, this did hit home, especially your description of wanting “to be known” by our spouse and loved for who we truly are. A mate’s “baggage” can cause him or her to react negatively to something that comes from the best part of us, and being misunderstood like this can make us feel SO lonely, as if we aren’t truly known and appreciated by our mate. Our head says yes, I know this isn’t about me, but in the moment it hurts. Reflection on spiritual things helps, and so does journaling, for me. And time, love, and understanding. And a cup of tea by the woodstove. And the understanding of another, like you. Thanks so much, and Happy New Year!

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