27 Jan

We just got a new pastor at church and he’s fantastic.

He’s really into the use of social media, which I’ve never experienced in this capacity before but I think I like it a lot.

We just started a new sermon series on Sunday called Heroes.

At the end of the message he challenged us to post who our hero was on Facebook and tag our church with #mynhcc so we could all see them in one place.

I took this challenge and posted on Facebook.

This morning while picking up my daughter at preschool another mom said “I wanted to thank you for your post about your heroes (choking back tears at this point) it was really good.”

I was blown away.

She then went on to say “You should write a blog.”

HA! “Well, actually I do.”

“I need to subscribe.” Then turning to my daughter “Your mom is very inspirational.”

Ok, now I’m overwhelmed.

If she had ANY idea the week I’ve had or especially the break down of a night I had last night, she would be floored.

I am not sure my blog is or ever will be what it once was.  Honestly, I don’t know if I am or will ever be what *I* once was.  Last year broke me.  And now more than ever I realize how wretched I really am as a human.  I feel like anything I’ve ever offered to God or done in the name of Jesus Christ has been nothing more than filthy rags.

Inspirational is so far from a word I would use it isn’t even on my radar. Actually, I could see myself saying something more like “You know those inspirational people – now picture the opposite. Bingo! Bango! That’s me.”

I wanted to say “Oh honey, if you saw something good in me, it was probably fake.  Or at very best, (my real hope) is that it was Jesus.”

But I think I mumbled something like this “Oh my goodness. Now you’re going too far.  Thank you. That’s very kind.”

And then I cried all the way home.

Just for the heck of it – here’s what I posted on Facebook.  God bless these readers and let them see Jesus.

At church this morning we were challenged to think about our hero and then post about him/her on fb.

My first instinct was to say my husband, my parents, youth Sunday school teachers and so on. And those people ARE heroes to me.

But then I spent more time meditating on this and thought, what really do I find heroic?

* Friends who show up even though their life is busy.

* People willing to open their homes and hearts to new people instead of just sticking to their already familiar group.

* Those who hear gossip and stop to pray for those involved instead of judging, participating, or sharing it.

* Anyone who has the courage to share real struggles either current or past to minister to someone else who is hurting instead of portraying perfection.

* Having the courage to stick to your convictions even when the world says you’re wrong.

* Those who forgive the unforgivable because they understand God has forgiven the unforgivable in them.

* Keeping a baby when you’re scared you’re not ready.

* Trusting God to follow a dream when it doesn’t financially make sense.

* Owning your mistakes when you know you’ve done wrong.

* Sharing your faith when you know it may not be accepted.

* Providing for your family

* Mentoring a child who has little influence at home.

* Taking care of your home day after day when you don’t think anyone notices.

* Meeting a need for someone knowing you won’t receive any credit.

There are so many people in my life who are heroes and they don’t even realize it. But I feel challenged. I want to be this kind of a hero to my kids, church and community.

Practical Application:

If you have kind words to say to someone – SAY THEM! She will never know what it felt like to believe you’re of no use in the kingdom right now and to see her tear up because Jesus still does His work regardless of us.



10 Responses to “Heroes”

  1. Jeannie Davis January 27, 2016 at 1:01 pm #

    Kayla, You have not idea how much good it did my hear to read this post. Without knowing your full plight of the last year of your life I have prayed for you more often than not. You remained at the top of my daily prayer list for many months and to this day you are not that far down the list. Although I have never met you in person…I have always felt connected to you through your faith in Jesus. It is a lonely place sometimes to have faith that surpasses all understanding and more often than not we are left out on a limb….alone…in the dark. People expect us to be perfect and “always” have it together and when we don’t we are called hypocrites.

    I too have had a very rough 2014. Actually it has been a rough last 5 years of our lives. We moved 3 state away from everything and everyone I have ever known and it was the best decision for our lives. We are so much more stress free and much happier now. We left all that hurt and pain behind, some our own doing but most at the hands of others, and started a new life. Being a ministry couple is hard work and living in a glass house is even harder.

    I give you kudos to have come back from what ever life shattering experience you have come back from. And through it all….please know that others, including myself, have continued to see “Jesus” in you. You ARE an inspiration. What you write IS meaningful to others. It makes us see that we are all human and we all make mistakes and we can all recover from it. Jesus loves us no matter what we do and no matter how many times we mess up.

    • Kayla Gulick January 27, 2016 at 3:31 pm #

      I covet all your prayers. Thank you so much.
      And yes – so true – Jesus love can’t be lost. He’s so amazing and even unfathomable.
      Thank you so much for your friendship!

  2. Jenn January 27, 2016 at 1:27 pm #

    Kayla, please know that your impact is firm in Him. I can’t tell you how many times my day begins in prayer, devotion and good meaning, and ends with me kicking myself for such selfish behaviors throughout the day. I’m so glad that other mom-warrior shared how she felt with you! Nothing for Him is done in vain. Keep fighting the good fight! We will fail? We ARE filthy rags, but that’s the point… Keep on keeping on, because we need Him and when we keep seeking Him is when we really win! If others see Jesus in you, you will continue to try to do better “behind closed doors.” Daily, girlfriend,…daily taking up of the cross.

    • Kayla Gulick January 27, 2016 at 3:37 pm #

      It’s so true. Daily. I must take up my cross daily.

      I appreciate you empathizing with me and relating. That so ministers to my heart.

  3. Elizabeth January 27, 2016 at 2:33 pm #

    Kayla, I LOVE your list of what makes someone a hero. My first answer to someone who believes abortions are okay is to tell them that my mother protected me in the womb, in spite of the fact that all her life circumstances were “wrong” for having another child, and that. I will be forever grateful to her for that alone. It is the unsung, seemingly small thing that mean the most to me, too. It is your example of arising, broken in spirit, to keep going in the midst of deep personal grief and disappointment with yourself, that is so very encouraging to all the rest of us who have also greatly sinned. Keep going, My sister! Thank you for a wonderful post.

    • Kayla Gulick January 27, 2016 at 3:34 pm #

      What a sweet tribute to your momma!!

      Thank you so much for every word of encouragement!! Love you friend!

  4. howsyourlovelife January 28, 2016 at 9:35 am #

    I just love sitting in the stands, watching you go! Cheering you on in cyberspace!

    • Kayla Gulick January 28, 2016 at 9:39 am #

      Well just imagine you’re watching a close game because one minute I’m losing and the next I’m winning – I still have no idea what the outcome is going to be myself!!!! Yesterday winning. Today losing. I wasn’t made for this kind of up and down!

  5. Emily C January 29, 2016 at 9:10 pm #

    Sweet Kayla,
    I had followed your blog before and for whatever reason recently you were put back on my heart so I checked in and have been following your posts recently. I really felt moved to comment on this post because a sense common theme – maybe despair? – maybe just brokenness.

    But the tug on my heart tonight is that you have forgotten that the battle is already won. You are already and always victorious. There will be battles you lose throughout your life but the war is already declared won.

    And you are clean and pure and forgiven! Whenever has happened to make you feel constantly reminded that you are a wretched sinner – well you are a wretched sinner but Jesus took care of it! He does not want you to wallow in that place! He’s already paid for it. And you holding onto there is nullifying what he did on the cross. Seeing his death was not big enough to cover your sins.

    He is enough and you are enough in him. There is a story after story after story in the Bible that talks about the beauty God brought from ashes. This is yours is much as anyone else’s that he redeemed.

    I don’t know that there are enough words or analogies for me to throw at you for you to receive this. Just know I am praying for you tonight and that you would receive his unconditional love and forgiveness and know that you are not expected to live in a place of penance but of freedom. That is why Jesus came.

    Take heart my sister; we are standing with you.

    • Kayla Gulick January 29, 2016 at 9:14 pm #

      This was beautiful. I can’t thank you enough for taking the time. You’re a blessing friend!!!

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